[He stares at her for a moment before a strange expression falls over him, one of hesitation and reflection before he begins to speak.]
Truthfully...
[...Haaa.]
...If you want to know when my feelings for you first developed, I don't know the beginning. But the lake...
[A small pause as he glances away, as if drawing upon his memories. It's never a good memory for him, what happened. But...there were the other parts. The ice skating before and then after...
...]
I realized I cared for you very strongly then, but I tried to ignore it. I couldn't say for sure what it was and there were other reasons. It wasn't until that night after we exchanged gifts and I walked you home that I realized I was attracted...had deeper feelings towards you.
[By then they had become more aware of each other, especially after what happened in the Christmas dreamscape and the box. And that night how he felt the various temptations and the final pull when he reached for that flower in her hair... How he had wanted to kiss her then, an impulse he had never felt before. How he had also realized that she was possibly feeling the same kind of attraction.
He then looks at her, his expression wistful, gaze deep.]
And on the night of the dream... I was already wrestling what to do, especially after hearing about Cloud. I didn't want to push anything knowing it was a complicated issue so I tried to draw a line out of respect. But given how things later turned out...
[Ah ha. Even now he can't help but feel a little ashamed that he allowed it to happen. Sleeping with him when she was emotionally compromised.]
Sometimes I wondered if you ever regretted it at the time.
[Even if she had consented, the fact that he even offered... What had he been thinking? Aside from seeing her so upset and wanting to gather her in his arms, to kiss and hold her. Such a strong desire that he had never felt before and then things escalated and took over. Even if it's not really unusual for two healthy adults, it was still unusual for him.
He might not think about it much anymore, especially given how things turned out. But he still remembers how he felt at the time, the concerns he had.]
no subject
Truthfully...
[...Haaa.]
...If you want to know when my feelings for you first developed, I don't know the beginning. But the lake...
[A small pause as he glances away, as if drawing upon his memories. It's never a good memory for him, what happened. But...there were the other parts. The ice skating before and then after...
...]
I realized I cared for you very strongly then, but I tried to ignore it. I couldn't say for sure what it was and there were other reasons. It wasn't until that night after we exchanged gifts and I walked you home that I realized I was attracted...had deeper feelings towards you.
[By then they had become more aware of each other, especially after what happened in the Christmas dreamscape and the box. And that night how he felt the various temptations and the final pull when he reached for that flower in her hair... How he had wanted to kiss her then, an impulse he had never felt before. How he had also realized that she was possibly feeling the same kind of attraction.
He then looks at her, his expression wistful, gaze deep.]
And on the night of the dream... I was already wrestling what to do, especially after hearing about Cloud. I didn't want to push anything knowing it was a complicated issue so I tried to draw a line out of respect. But given how things later turned out...
[Ah ha. Even now he can't help but feel a little ashamed that he allowed it to happen. Sleeping with him when she was emotionally compromised.]
Sometimes I wondered if you ever regretted it at the time.
[Even if she had consented, the fact that he even offered... What had he been thinking? Aside from seeing her so upset and wanting to gather her in his arms, to kiss and hold her. Such a strong desire that he had never felt before and then things escalated and took over. Even if it's not really unusual for two healthy adults, it was still unusual for him.
He might not think about it much anymore, especially given how things turned out. But he still remembers how he felt at the time, the concerns he had.]