Flamek is only my partner when in battle—it's just a weapon, same way you probably feel with your fists. And it's only because I used to work alone so it was the only thing I could really rely on. It's more representative of my past.
You, however...
[He pauses only to lightly brush his lips against her ear and then her neck, kissing her softly.]
You are my partner for everything. No matter where I am or what I do, you're always a part of me and part of most every decision I make. And when in battle, you're also my partner, someone I can rely and trust.
[He shifts slightly so he can look at her properly, his eyes genuine and sincere as he takes on a more serious countenance.]
Tifa, you are my partner now, and I want you to be there in my future. I told you before... You are the one I chose to be my partner for life. The one I chose to give my heart and soul to. No one else. Not even Flamek.
[He did tell her, and she heard him then. She understood. Even as he says them know, she knows that he means them with all his heart and that she believes him with her entire being, but there is still that strange twinge of something else. Something uglier that always needles its way through her—that is likely the cause of all those images she created in her head. It nips at her every time his lips brush over her neck, or when he presses those tender kisses to her lips, or when he reminds her that he chose her.
It's that desperate need to be there at his side. To be the only person at his side. The only person he would ever have eyes for...
It's unnatural and inexplicable, and it makes her sick to her stomach. It's strange for her to feel and yet, with every touch of his fingertips on her skin, that feeling only ever grows, like a fire being stoked. It's not something she's ever truly faced—or even noticed—until the dream... or possibly even before, when she felt her place at his side had been in danger, and not just because of a gun, but because of him, too.
And his words... they only rekindle that feeling all over again.]
Enough about Flamek.
[She almost growls it against his lips. Stop saying it. She doesn't want to breathe any more life into the dream than she already has. It only makes her think of the woman on his lap, the woman in that beautiful white wedding gown that he kissed at the altar...
Tifa grits her teeth, and she pulls back, enough for him to see the sincerity in her eyes as it all comes spilling out of her before she can think to stop it.]
When my place next to you feels threatened, I... I don't like it...
[This was something he probably already knew, but not something she had ever said out loud before.]
I don't like that I wasn't there with you that day. That I couldn't protect you. ... Or heal you. [And before he can utter a single protest to that, she presses her finger to firmly to his lips. They are not going to get into it again. But her steady voice breaks as she goes on.] Sometimes I... I want it to be me. I want you to think of me...
[To be the sole object of his thoughts, his desires, and his heart is a selfish wish, but the deeper she falls, the harder it becomes to pull herself out.
And as she says those words, she realizes in that moment that she still isn't over it, and that this has nothing to do with Flamek. Rather, it was everything else at the time as she thinks back to his bandaged arm and hearing the news that he had been shot. To the things they had said to one another after. To Diaspora, and the lightning that pierced the skies as he pulled the trigger and destroyed it. And then, she thinks back to the girl in the weapons shop...
In the end, Flamek became the thing that she could blame for all these jealous feelings and her subconscious had recognized that. Twisted it into something that it could use against or.
Or, perhaps it was to wake her up and make her realize how stupid this all is, and that she has nothing to fear. To remind her that she really is in his heart where she wants to be.]
Eustace... [His name comes out firm. Steady. If only to pull herself free from those thoughts. And her voice carries the weight behind her question.] ... Do you love me?
[At first blush it seems like a stupid question to ask him at this point, but he immediately realizes it's not a test. She only needs one answer, one he gives without any hesitation or second thought.]
I love you. Only you.
[His own eyes and voice carry the weight of his own sincerity, three words that carry the many feelings he has for her that he can't say. Although his love is sincere, it can't really be said it's completely wholesome or pure. So instead of sounding light or romantic, it's heavy. Heavy with his own possessiveness and wants.
Because he feels the same way as she does—has since the very beginning. Even before he decided to commit that dark feeling had started to sprout and grown. When he had asked her about her wanting to monopolize him, it had been a reflection of his own desires to do so. To keep her to him, to not let anyone else touch her or come too close. For him to be the only one in her eyes, her mind, her heart. And like Tifa he, too, realizes there are unreasonable extremes which is why he keeps it hidden deep in his heart, bits and pieces seeping out every now and then when his own jealous bouts rear their ugly heads.
So when he says he loves her, it's more than that. It's like he's repeating a vow over and over again—that he's bound himself to her and has also bound her to him. That she's the one he wants and he'll do whatever it takes to keep her.
Even if she protests.
Already those vines are starting to crawl their way up the tree and into the room, curling around the feet of the bed.]
It's not a test, or a reminder, but an affirmation that he knows what she feels, because she's always known that he's had those same feelings, too. He had been able to face them sooner, perhaps as soon as the time his heart had been consumed by that magic creature. It didn't make him this way, but it only awakened these things, not so unlike the dream. This... This had been Tifa's. This dream has turned into the thing she needed for her to realize and accept that she was no different. No matter how ugly those feelings were, no matter how irrational or terrible she felt for having them, they were part of her. An affirmation that they belong together. To one another...
And more than that, it's an affirmation that he accepts her the same way she has him.
Like the vines that begin to coil around the bed, they've threaded their feelings tight to keep the other close—to wrap around and protect them, what they have, what they've created. To keep everything else out and create a world where it's only the two of them.
Her forehead falls against his at last, and she breathes a sigh over his lips, her nose nuzzling his. She takes him in for a moment, allowing herself to savour in this freeing feeling in her chest at finally embracing her every want and desire, and at pushing past the things that plague her.]
I don't like these feelings... [She brushes her lips over his.] So, help me... [Her eyes flutter open so that she can look into his, the depths of her words pooling deep in them.] Help me understand...
[She's always made it so easy for him to throw away those usual restraints, to pull out that side of him that she would only see. The way her voice, her eyes, the way she pleads for him—it makes that heat rush through his blood, a stirring in his lower abdomen that only she can provoke. If anyone else tried to do this, he'd throw them off with such cold disgust a whole block would freeze over.
But not Tifa.
Instead, she brings in that fire that melts everything that's still frozen.
A small smirk forms, a low "Hmmm" as a slight movement of his head brushes his lips against hers.]
So you're finally understanding how I feel, hm? But...
[His hands now drift, one snaking up the front of her chest as the other moves down, trailing down the lines of her abdominal muscles and straight down past the band of her underwear, fingertips hunting for that heat.]
...It seems I haven't done enough to show it if you still need help. Guess it's I'll use this to remind you.
[It's a dark whisper as his mouth captures hers roughly, hands moving with same aggressive fervor as the room darkens, those vines slithering up further and dark flowers slowly bloom.
He is going to guarantee that he will "teach" her so well that by the end of this there will be beyond a shadow of a doubt that the only thing she'll think about is him. The only thing she'll ever dream about is him and that she won't ever think about anyone else—even in jealousy. Even if it's in hatred, that's still putting focus on and being bothered by someone else—and he's not going to allow it.]
[By the time the two of them collapse on one another for the last time, the vines have crept up so high that they've formed almost a full cage around them, surrounding them with the same wildflowers that they've seen before, though rather than bright and vibrant petals, their colours are dark and deep reds and blues and purples. A steam had filled the room, almost like the moments following a heavy rainfall in the deepest parts of the rainforests, the dew sticking to their sweat and skin, and it's both stifling and riveting at the same time.
And somehow, a shadow had settled as well, turning the room dark and smothering the afternoon sun as it tries to wash over them.
Her entire body molds to his as they catch their breaths, their hearts beating in tandem with one another as if they make up two halves of the same whole. And they remain that way for a long time, holding one another as the electricity buzzing in the room settles into a dull heat, helping to relax them as they lie in each other's arms, and as Tifa silently praises him with peppered kisses and light touches along his arms.
And after any stretch of time—she stopped counting forever ago—she finally lifts her head from his chest and lays a tender kiss to his lips, her content, sleepy smile spreading wider as she looks at him.]
Hey... [Like every other time, it's always the first thing she asks, but with how intense this was, there's a little more weight to her question this time.] How are you?
[He had just been lying against her content, savoring their warmth and her scent. But he can't help but laugh as he opens one eye and answers in a low drawl.]
You always ask that. Feels like I should be one the one asking instead.
[However, he knows from the sound of her voice she might be asking about something else. Something that's more in relation to this cage and darkness that surrounds them.]
Just like he wants to take care of her, she wants to do the same for him, and this time... this time, Tifa knows that she had been a little different. She knows that she had played a part in all of this—all the things that surround them, and as content as he looks and sounds now, she wants to make sure that there were no other lingering thoughts about it. No doubts or worries or fears.
Her head falls back against his chest, but she's still looking at him and watching his expression carefully.]
[She lightly, playfully swats at his hands with a laugh when it tickles but makes no effort to stop him if he chooses to go a little further, and even kisses him again.]
How many lessons would that make it then?
[More than every other time, to be sure, but even they need a rest once in a while.]
[He'll stop at the light swatting—if only because there is serious question whether he would actually stop and not just go ahead and give her that "refresher."
But he now rolls onto his side, the roaming arm now draping over her hip as he gazes into her eyes, studying her.]
[He's always been able to read her so easily, so it's no surprise when he turns himself over and looks at her with that same observant stare reflected back. As much as she wishes she could say that they had been able to wipe it clean of everything, it's true that there is still plenty on her mind.
She presses her lips together in silent thought for a moment, wondering where to start.]
I thought I'd be scared of all this... Of all my feelings... [she finally begins, her gaze moving momentarily to the walls that have formed around them.] But I'm not. Not anymore, at least.
[He reaches up to lightly brush away her bangs, the back of his nails lightly grazing against her skin as his expression softens for a moment before he lets out a small breath.]
I know how you feel.
[His eyes momentarily rove up to the ivy cage around them, the dark flowers beautiful, but haunting and ominous.]
Before... When I first noticed my own feelings, I felt ashamed because we hadn't decided on anything yet. It took me a while to realize and accept them, and even then I was afraid you would be afraid if you knew.
[And then a light smirk as his thumb moves down, swiping against the lightly bruised and swollen lips that still look so red and tempting even now.]
[He draws a sharp breath out of her, her eyes closing and lips parting as his thumb brushes over them, the urge to simply end this conversation and replace his finger with his lips surging like a newly kindled flame... but she knows that this is something she needs to voice. Now that her actions have spoken for her, it's become a little easier to put it all into words.
And now that they've come down from their throes of passion, she can understand him a little better, too.]
I don't want you to be afraid, either.
[She knows that he isn't, but there's still that twinge of fear in the back of Tifa's mind that maybe she had taken it all too far. That he had seen a side of her that he hadn't expected or wanted to see. But she also knows that it's irrational. If he hadn't wanted that, he wouldn't be here.
It's her turn to let out another, gentler breath to shake off the thought.]
I just... I want to be with you. [The vines begin to slowly inch again, a little higher as her arms snake around him so that she can hide against his body, her face burying into his chest.] When you said those things about how you chose me, I realized... I want that.
[His arms automatically fold around her as he presses his face against the top of her head, inhaling her scent.]
You accepted all of me. I will always accept—want—every part of you. I won't allow anyone else to come close...and the same is true about me to you. Whatever part you want it's yours.
[But there's more to it than that he knows, and...it's not as if he never thought about it. If anything it was one of the first things he had to consider as he never stops looking at things partway. The moment he considered this relationship with Tifa, the end goal was one of the important factors.
So in a quieter tone, he lightly strokes her back.]
...Do you want to get married?
[And true to form he's just going to get right to it.]
[She smiles when she hears it. Long, long ago, before he even knew her name here, before they even arrived in Reverein, Tifa had vowed to accept him—all of him. She had been so afraid of the feelings that had recently surfaced because she didn't know what to do with them, but most of all, she was scared that they would frighten him away.
But then he says something else—something that echoes the very thought that's been passing through her mind since she had woken up from that dream, or perhaps even before, and it wrenches Tifa back down to the present—to here and now as she lays there in his arms.
...?
She pulls back far enough to look at him, her eyes wide with confusion and surprise, and she isn't even sure if she heard it right.]
Do I want to...? Eustace...?
[Did he really just ask what she thinks he asked?]
[He knew she would react that way so he's not surprised when she pulls away and questions him. However, his expression remains calm as he gazes at her with a light smile.]
Not right now.
[Clear that up first. And then his expression becomes serious again.]
But is that something you'd want in the future? Between us?
[She isn't sure if she's relieved or disappointed by that, but she does a good job at hiding it behind the onslaught of other emotions she's feeling right now.
There's a stretch of silence that follows—not because she doesn't have an answer, but because she isn't sure how to. It hadn't been something they've ever talked about before, but she'd be lying if she said she hadn't thought about it during all the times they spoke about forever...
And to top it all off, she had dreamt of a wedding... Not to her, but that had to be a sign as well, and there was no getting around it.
Tears start to burn in the corners of her eyes, and she sighs out a breath, sharp and airy, and her hand moves up his arm to grip him by the shoulder, and she squeezes.]
Yes... [Her answer comes quietly but firmly, with no room left for any doubt or hesitation.] I do...
[She knows that this isn't a proposal and that there is still so much to think about and talk about before they can take any steps forward, but...]
[In truth, he probably would just want to go ahead and make it official. After all, with what's happened so far and how they clearly are now, there's no real good reason to wait. Of course if things were normal and in either of their respective worlds, then waiting a while would be sensible. But here, when there is that ever looming question of whether they'll wake up and see each other, there is a different sense of urgency. One that's enough to carry reason and sensibility into the wind.
But even so, this is something they need to talk about if they want to have some semblance of responsibility. So he gently smiles, brushing the corner of her eye before pulling in to lightly press his lips against them. He had heard her say those words once before...and hearing them now makes his heart tremble so strongly that it really is difficult to not just say, "Let's do it now." She can see it in his eyes, that deep desire of taking that final step to completely bind themselves together. But he holds it back.]
And I won't let you wait for that long.
[Can he even wait a month after knowing her answer? A week? A day? A minute? Hell they probably already act like it already so at this point it would just be official formalities. Something definitive.]
But...there are things we should discuss so we can be on the same page on expectations and wants from each other.
...For example, ideally the Story Eater is taken care of first but it's an unknown variable.
[If he had said it now, today, in a week, she would say yes in a heartbeat. If this were his proposal to her, she would say yes. But if he had asked her instead to wait, Tifa would wait forever and a hundred days for him if it meant that at the end of that road, they could be together. It was in that dreamscape, as Romeo and Juliet, as they sang together on that terrace that she had decided that.
On the other hand, however, she knows too well—better than most, she thinks—how fickle this place is. One second, he could be here and the next, gone. Or next time, it could be her.
The way she sees it, there are more things pushing them forward than there are holding them back, but it's those few small things keeping them from taking that leap that they should consider, no matter how badly she wants to say screw it all...
Her own eyes search his face, mirroring the same look in his. That desire to throw all caution to the wind. It's all technicalities at this point, but as they exchange the same fervent, unfettered yearning, there is not a shred of doubt in Tifa's mind that she wants to marry him. That she wants to make that final vow to him that she and Eustace belong to one another...
When he speaks, she closes her eyes, tears streaking her cheeks. She isn't sure if they're made up of relief, joy, or sadness, or perhaps a combination of all three, but her heart is soaring so high right now that she has troubles focusing on his words at first, so her answer comes slowly, breathlessly, as she flutters her eyes open.]
No, I get it... [While she doesn't know much about the Story Eater, she knows enough to understand that it's a very real threat.] Feels like things are starting to settle down, but it's... still a little crazy around here sometimes.
[Less so in terms of them compared to before, but more everything else.]
[There's that prick of pain when he sees those tears flow freely and he quickly tries to catch them with either his fingertips or his lips, wanting to comfort her. Sensing how much she wants this as much as him only makes that ache stronger and again he considers just tossing reason and sensibility out the window.]
Last thing I want is a world threat crashing our wedding.
[A small, light attempt at a joke, though that really is something of a threat. But most of all, he wants to ensure they have a life of peace and quiet. Sure there's the world's nightmares to contend with, but that's like dealing with natural disasters. That's just a part of this world they can't change and for the most part hasn't been trying to corrupt other worlds so it's a more manageable worry.]
...But as tempting as it is... [Tempting to ask her right here, right now.] I only want the best for you. So while I can't give you a proper proposal now...
[He pulls back enough so he can once again stare deeply into her eyes.]
I promise you will have one soon.
[When he feels certain steps have been taken, certain talks have happened. They could even continue right now, but given how Tifa seems to be, maybe it's better to take it slowly. They've already passed the first step, the rest can be discussed in due time.
And while he would rather deal with the Story Eater, as he said it's ideal. At this rate he might become impatient and just do it anyway, but—not right this moment. He wants to give her the best and that includes the right preparations and timing.]
[Her hand rests on his cheek, her thumb tracing lazy, adoring lines across his skin, and her lips part with a sigh.]
I'll wait.
[Just so that he knows where she stands with that. There's a beat, and she leans forward to press a light kiss to his lips, and he'll be able to feel her smile behind it.]
You're worth it. You're worth the wait.
[But there's something else that ghosts across her expression—it's hard to see, difficult to catch because it's so fleeting. Sadness? Fear? But she recalls both times that Eustace had left and wonders... is that something they need to worry about, too?]
She really shouldn't. She doesn't want to push the issue any more than she already has, what with the dream and all, but... maybe it is important that he knows how she feels about it. That it's something that will always be on her mind, even after they say their vows.]
I... [Tifa hesitates for a moment, but she steels herself with a sharp breath, and continues.] I'm still scared... about what might happen to us. Tomorrow, or the next day. Next week...
[She dips her head, burying a kiss on his shoulder.]
[He takes in a long breath as his arms wrap tightly around her.]
I have the same fear. Sometimes when I wake up and you're not there, I panic a little before I hear your movements in the other room. But for you... I know you've hurt most.
[Sometimes he wonders if the wounds he left on her heart may be greater than the scars on her chest.]
But we can't live in this fear all the time and let it force us into making quick decisions.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
flamekthunder) wrote2025-04-07 09:12 pm
no subject
[His voice softens as he continues to hug her.]
Flamek is only my partner when in battle—it's just a weapon, same way you probably feel with your fists. And it's only because I used to work alone so it was the only thing I could really rely on. It's more representative of my past.
You, however...
[He pauses only to lightly brush his lips against her ear and then her neck, kissing her softly.]
You are my partner for everything. No matter where I am or what I do, you're always a part of me and part of most every decision I make. And when in battle, you're also my partner, someone I can rely and trust.
[He shifts slightly so he can look at her properly, his eyes genuine and sincere as he takes on a more serious countenance.]
Tifa, you are my partner now, and I want you to be there in my future. I told you before... You are the one I chose to be my partner for life. The one I chose to give my heart and soul to. No one else. Not even Flamek.
[He brushes his lips against hers.]
Not like this.
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It's that desperate need to be there at his side. To be the only person at his side. The only person he would ever have eyes for...
It's unnatural and inexplicable, and it makes her sick to her stomach. It's strange for her to feel and yet, with every touch of his fingertips on her skin, that feeling only ever grows, like a fire being stoked. It's not something she's ever truly faced—or even noticed—until the dream... or possibly even before, when she felt her place at his side had been in danger, and not just because of a gun, but because of him, too.
And his words... they only rekindle that feeling all over again.]
Enough about Flamek.
[She almost growls it against his lips. Stop saying it. She doesn't want to breathe any more life into the dream than she already has. It only makes her think of the woman on his lap, the woman in that beautiful white wedding gown that he kissed at the altar...
Tifa grits her teeth, and she pulls back, enough for him to see the sincerity in her eyes as it all comes spilling out of her before she can think to stop it.]
When my place next to you feels threatened, I... I don't like it...
[This was something he probably already knew, but not something she had ever said out loud before.]
I don't like that I wasn't there with you that day. That I couldn't protect you. ... Or heal you. [And before he can utter a single protest to that, she presses her finger to firmly to his lips. They are not going to get into it again. But her steady voice breaks as she goes on.] Sometimes I... I want it to be me. I want you to think of me...
[To be the sole object of his thoughts, his desires, and his heart is a selfish wish, but the deeper she falls, the harder it becomes to pull herself out.
And as she says those words, she realizes in that moment that she still isn't over it, and that this has nothing to do with Flamek. Rather, it was everything else at the time as she thinks back to his bandaged arm and hearing the news that he had been shot. To the things they had said to one another after. To Diaspora, and the lightning that pierced the skies as he pulled the trigger and destroyed it. And then, she thinks back to the girl in the weapons shop...
In the end, Flamek became the thing that she could blame for all these jealous feelings and her subconscious had recognized that. Twisted it into something that it could use against or.
Or, perhaps it was to wake her up and make her realize how stupid this all is, and that she has nothing to fear. To remind her that she really is in his heart where she wants to be.]
Eustace... [His name comes out firm. Steady. If only to pull herself free from those thoughts. And her voice carries the weight behind her question.] ... Do you love me?
no subject
I love you. Only you.
[His own eyes and voice carry the weight of his own sincerity, three words that carry the many feelings he has for her that he can't say. Although his love is sincere, it can't really be said it's completely wholesome or pure. So instead of sounding light or romantic, it's heavy. Heavy with his own possessiveness and wants.
Because he feels the same way as she does—has since the very beginning. Even before he decided to commit that dark feeling had started to sprout and grown. When he had asked her about her wanting to monopolize him, it had been a reflection of his own desires to do so. To keep her to him, to not let anyone else touch her or come too close. For him to be the only one in her eyes, her mind, her heart. And like Tifa he, too, realizes there are unreasonable extremes which is why he keeps it hidden deep in his heart, bits and pieces seeping out every now and then when his own jealous bouts rear their ugly heads.
So when he says he loves her, it's more than that. It's like he's repeating a vow over and over again—that he's bound himself to her and has also bound her to him. That she's the one he wants and he'll do whatever it takes to keep her.
Even if she protests.
Already those vines are starting to crawl their way up the tree and into the room, curling around the feet of the bed.]
no subject
It's not a test, or a reminder, but an affirmation that he knows what she feels, because she's always known that he's had those same feelings, too. He had been able to face them sooner, perhaps as soon as the time his heart had been consumed by that magic creature. It didn't make him this way, but it only awakened these things, not so unlike the dream. This... This had been Tifa's. This dream has turned into the thing she needed for her to realize and accept that she was no different. No matter how ugly those feelings were, no matter how irrational or terrible she felt for having them, they were part of her. An affirmation that they belong together. To one another...
And more than that, it's an affirmation that he accepts her the same way she has him.
Like the vines that begin to coil around the bed, they've threaded their feelings tight to keep the other close—to wrap around and protect them, what they have, what they've created. To keep everything else out and create a world where it's only the two of them.
Her forehead falls against his at last, and she breathes a sigh over his lips, her nose nuzzling his. She takes him in for a moment, allowing herself to savour in this freeing feeling in her chest at finally embracing her every want and desire, and at pushing past the things that plague her.]
I don't like these feelings... [She brushes her lips over his.] So, help me... [Her eyes flutter open so that she can look into his, the depths of her words pooling deep in them.] Help me understand...
no subject
But not Tifa.
Instead, she brings in that fire that melts everything that's still frozen.
A small smirk forms, a low "Hmmm" as a slight movement of his head brushes his lips against hers.]
So you're finally understanding how I feel, hm? But...
[His hands now drift, one snaking up the front of her chest as the other moves down, trailing down the lines of her abdominal muscles and straight down past the band of her underwear, fingertips hunting for that heat.]
...It seems I haven't done enough to show it if you still need help. Guess it's I'll use this to remind you.
[It's a dark whisper as his mouth captures hers roughly, hands moving with same aggressive fervor as the room darkens, those vines slithering up further and dark flowers slowly bloom.
He is going to guarantee that he will "teach" her so well that by the end of this there will be beyond a shadow of a doubt that the only thing she'll think about is him. The only thing she'll ever dream about is him and that she won't ever think about anyone else—even in jealousy. Even if it's in hatred, that's still putting focus on and being bothered by someone else—and he's not going to allow it.]
no subject
And somehow, a shadow had settled as well, turning the room dark and smothering the afternoon sun as it tries to wash over them.
Her entire body molds to his as they catch their breaths, their hearts beating in tandem with one another as if they make up two halves of the same whole. And they remain that way for a long time, holding one another as the electricity buzzing in the room settles into a dull heat, helping to relax them as they lie in each other's arms, and as Tifa silently praises him with peppered kisses and light touches along his arms.
And after any stretch of time—she stopped counting forever ago—she finally lifts her head from his chest and lays a tender kiss to his lips, her content, sleepy smile spreading wider as she looks at him.]
Hey... [Like every other time, it's always the first thing she asks, but with how intense this was, there's a little more weight to her question this time.] How are you?
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You always ask that. Feels like I should be one the one asking instead.
[However, he knows from the sound of her voice she might be asking about something else. Something that's more in relation to this cage and darkness that surrounds them.]
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[Always.
Just like he wants to take care of her, she wants to do the same for him, and this time... this time, Tifa knows that she had been a little different. She knows that she had played a part in all of this—all the things that surround them, and as content as he looks and sounds now, she wants to make sure that there were no other lingering thoughts about it. No doubts or worries or fears.
Her head falls back against his chest, but she's still looking at him and watching his expression carefully.]
I'm fine. ... Better.
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[There's a light tease in his voice as his hands slowly creep up her sides.]
Do I still need to teach you more?
no subject
How many lessons would that make it then?
[More than every other time, to be sure, but even they need a rest once in a while.]
Save some stuff for the refresher course.
[Later? Yes, probably.]
no subject
[He'll stop at the light swatting—if only because there is serious question whether he would actually stop and not just go ahead and give her that "refresher."
But he now rolls onto his side, the roaming arm now draping over her hip as he gazes into her eyes, studying her.]
...There's something still on your mind.
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She presses her lips together in silent thought for a moment, wondering where to start.]
I thought I'd be scared of all this... Of all my feelings... [she finally begins, her gaze moving momentarily to the walls that have formed around them.] But I'm not. Not anymore, at least.
[Thanks to him.]
I think I get what it all means now...
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[He reaches up to lightly brush away her bangs, the back of his nails lightly grazing against her skin as his expression softens for a moment before he lets out a small breath.]
I know how you feel.
[His eyes momentarily rove up to the ivy cage around them, the dark flowers beautiful, but haunting and ominous.]
Before... When I first noticed my own feelings, I felt ashamed because we hadn't decided on anything yet. It took me a while to realize and accept them, and even then I was afraid you would be afraid if you knew.
[And then a light smirk as his thumb moves down, swiping against the lightly bruised and swollen lips that still look so red and tempting even now.]
Didn't take me long to realize it didn't matter.
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And now that they've come down from their throes of passion, she can understand him a little better, too.]
I don't want you to be afraid, either.
[She knows that he isn't, but there's still that twinge of fear in the back of Tifa's mind that maybe she had taken it all too far. That he had seen a side of her that he hadn't expected or wanted to see. But she also knows that it's irrational. If he hadn't wanted that, he wouldn't be here.
It's her turn to let out another, gentler breath to shake off the thought.]
I just... I want to be with you. [The vines begin to slowly inch again, a little higher as her arms snake around him so that she can hide against his body, her face burying into his chest.] When you said those things about how you chose me, I realized... I want that.
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You accepted all of me. I will always accept—want—every part of you. I won't allow anyone else to come close...and the same is true about me to you. Whatever part you want it's yours.
[But there's more to it than that he knows, and...it's not as if he never thought about it. If anything it was one of the first things he had to consider as he never stops looking at things partway. The moment he considered this relationship with Tifa, the end goal was one of the important factors.
So in a quieter tone, he lightly strokes her back.]
...Do you want to get married?
[And true to form he's just going to get right to it.]
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But then he says something else—something that echoes the very thought that's been passing through her mind since she had woken up from that dream, or perhaps even before, and it wrenches Tifa back down to the present—to here and now as she lays there in his arms.
...?
She pulls back far enough to look at him, her eyes wide with confusion and surprise, and she isn't even sure if she heard it right.]
Do I want to...? Eustace...?
[Did he really just ask what she thinks he asked?]
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Not right now.
[Clear that up first. And then his expression becomes serious again.]
But is that something you'd want in the future? Between us?
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There's a stretch of silence that follows—not because she doesn't have an answer, but because she isn't sure how to. It hadn't been something they've ever talked about before, but she'd be lying if she said she hadn't thought about it during all the times they spoke about forever...
And to top it all off, she had dreamt of a wedding... Not to her, but that had to be a sign as well, and there was no getting around it.
Tears start to burn in the corners of her eyes, and she sighs out a breath, sharp and airy, and her hand moves up his arm to grip him by the shoulder, and she squeezes.]
Yes... [Her answer comes quietly but firmly, with no room left for any doubt or hesitation.] I do...
[She knows that this isn't a proposal and that there is still so much to think about and talk about before they can take any steps forward, but...]
I meant it when I said forever...
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But even so, this is something they need to talk about if they want to have some semblance of responsibility. So he gently smiles, brushing the corner of her eye before pulling in to lightly press his lips against them. He had heard her say those words once before...and hearing them now makes his heart tremble so strongly that it really is difficult to not just say, "Let's do it now." She can see it in his eyes, that deep desire of taking that final step to completely bind themselves together. But he holds it back.]
And I won't let you wait for that long.
[Can he even wait a month after knowing her answer? A week? A day? A minute? Hell they probably already act like it already so at this point it would just be official formalities. Something definitive.]
But...there are things we should discuss so we can be on the same page on expectations and wants from each other.
...For example, ideally the Story Eater is taken care of first but it's an unknown variable.
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On the other hand, however, she knows too well—better than most, she thinks—how fickle this place is. One second, he could be here and the next, gone. Or next time, it could be her.
The way she sees it, there are more things pushing them forward than there are holding them back, but it's those few small things keeping them from taking that leap that they should consider, no matter how badly she wants to say screw it all...
Her own eyes search his face, mirroring the same look in his. That desire to throw all caution to the wind. It's all technicalities at this point, but as they exchange the same fervent, unfettered yearning, there is not a shred of doubt in Tifa's mind that she wants to marry him. That she wants to make that final vow to him that she and Eustace belong to one another...
When he speaks, she closes her eyes, tears streaking her cheeks. She isn't sure if they're made up of relief, joy, or sadness, or perhaps a combination of all three, but her heart is soaring so high right now that she has troubles focusing on his words at first, so her answer comes slowly, breathlessly, as she flutters her eyes open.]
No, I get it... [While she doesn't know much about the Story Eater, she knows enough to understand that it's a very real threat.] Feels like things are starting to settle down, but it's... still a little crazy around here sometimes.
[Less so in terms of them compared to before, but more everything else.]
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Last thing I want is a world threat crashing our wedding.
[A small, light attempt at a joke, though that really is something of a threat. But most of all, he wants to ensure they have a life of peace and quiet. Sure there's the world's nightmares to contend with, but that's like dealing with natural disasters. That's just a part of this world they can't change and for the most part hasn't been trying to corrupt other worlds so it's a more manageable worry.]
...But as tempting as it is... [Tempting to ask her right here, right now.] I only want the best for you. So while I can't give you a proper proposal now...
[He pulls back enough so he can once again stare deeply into her eyes.]
I promise you will have one soon.
[When he feels certain steps have been taken, certain talks have happened. They could even continue right now, but given how Tifa seems to be, maybe it's better to take it slowly. They've already passed the first step, the rest can be discussed in due time.
And while he would rather deal with the Story Eater, as he said it's ideal. At this rate he might become impatient and just do it anyway, but—not right this moment. He wants to give her the best and that includes the right preparations and timing.]
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I'll wait.
[Just so that he knows where she stands with that. There's a beat, and she leans forward to press a light kiss to his lips, and he'll be able to feel her smile behind it.]
You're worth it. You're worth the wait.
[But there's something else that ghosts across her expression—it's hard to see, difficult to catch because it's so fleeting. Sadness? Fear? But she recalls both times that Eustace had left and wonders... is that something they need to worry about, too?]
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...Is there anything else you want to discuss?
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She really shouldn't. She doesn't want to push the issue any more than she already has, what with the dream and all, but... maybe it is important that he knows how she feels about it. That it's something that will always be on her mind, even after they say their vows.]
I... [Tifa hesitates for a moment, but she steels herself with a sharp breath, and continues.] I'm still scared... about what might happen to us. Tomorrow, or the next day. Next week...
[She dips her head, burying a kiss on his shoulder.]
It's happened so many times now...
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[He takes in a long breath as his arms wrap tightly around her.]
I have the same fear. Sometimes when I wake up and you're not there, I panic a little before I hear your movements in the other room. But for you... I know you've hurt most.
[Sometimes he wonders if the wounds he left on her heart may be greater than the scars on her chest.]
But we can't live in this fear all the time and let it force us into making quick decisions.
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someone please contain these two we give up