She might have even preferred it if it were her. Maybe it would have made this less awkward to say "yes, I did have relations with your gun except it was a person and not actually a gun" and be done with it... although now that the train of thought crosses her mind, she thinks maybe not.
Tifa is almost relieved when he considers dropping the subject but just as she's about to open her mouth to agree, the dream begins to play back just as she remembers it. All of it from her point of view.
And while he watches it, Tifa slowly sinks back beneath the covers and brings them and a pillow over her head to hide from him. She's going to burn a hole right through the sheets and the mattress at this rate with how hot it's becoming under here... Especially when she remembers that he'll hear all of the things she imagined him saying to Flamek in the dream...]
[It's like watching a giant wreck and while he could look away, he also finds himself so stunned that he can't. It starts off...weird but okay, but then it just gets stranger...
And stranger....
Once it gets to the wedding he's now just very slowly turning his head towards Tifa, his eyes wide with so much bewilderment and disbelief. Really? SHE REALLY WORRIED ABOUT AND DREAMED ALL THIS UP—
He cuts it off before it ends—not that there was much more to it—and then just. Quietly sets the crystal down before there's a rather long stretch of silence.
Is he still there or was he so stunned or so offended or so afraid that he just got up and left?
WHY IS IT SO QUIET????
Tifa is too afraid to lift the blankets and the pillow to check, but after what feels like an eternity of silence, she finally finds the courage to say a single word.]
[At this point, Eustace has been spending several minutes...processing this. To think Tifa would...imagine him being in love with his gun. And even give it a form?? And—it's really hard to continue through all this because it was just so.....absurd.
Even after she speaks out he continues to just be. Rather quiet. Until at last he finally and very slowly speaks.]
...So. You were jealous about Flamek?
[He could at least make that conclusion fairly quickly.]
When he finally does, it startles Tifa—not just his voice, but his incredibly blunt choice of words, even if that was definitely the case. Even she knows it now, looking back, now that she's had a little bit of time to try processing what she saw in the dream while she lay beneath the covers.
There's a shift, and slowly, the pillow falls off from over her face, and her eyes peek out to look at him. Or look near him. She's too scared to know what his reaction is.]
[IT MAKES IT SOUND SO MUCH WORSE WHEN HE SAYS IT LIKE THAT—]
I know! [She protests, sitting up finally, her frustration ringing clear in her voice.] I don't get it either.
[Does she wish she did? Maybe not? She wishes that she could just throw this all away and pretend that it never happened, but as she looks from Eustace to Flamek on the wall, she swears she hears it humming back at her...]
When you said that Flamek was... [When he said that it was his partner, she wants to say, but Tifa can't bring herself to finish the sentence. She already knows how stupid it all sounds. She shakes her head with a groan.] Never mind.
[If it were anyone else, he really would have said, "It is stupid," because honestly that's his main thought about all this. But he can see how much it frustrates and upsets her, so he is going to take more care with this.]
It's not if it makes you feel like this.
[He moves a little closer to her.]
What do you mean? What did I say about Flamek that upset you?
[He has—in this case unfortunate—great memory, but he doesn't really want to think about the dream again. He has one possible suspicion, but he'll try to see if Tifa will tell him.]
It didn't! [... Ah, she's getting riled up again. She takes a small breath and she deflates with her exhale.] It didn't upset me, it just...
[Tifa slides her legs from the bed and sits with her back to him, but she watches him through the corners of her eyes over her shoulder.]
After what you showed me, and all we talked about, when you said that Flamek was your partner...
[Ugh, this feels so dumb just saying it out loud!!! She isn't even mad about it, just so mortified and embarrassed and, quite frankly, still a little jealous of the woman in the dream. It's an ugly blend of emotions that has every inch of her skin turning red.]
Maybe it... I guess it just got to me a little.
[But then he had said something else to her. For Tifa. Those words were meant for her and yet... in her subconscious mind, he had said them to that woman instead.]
Rationally, Eustace thinks this is a needless worry that she really doesn't need to have. Hasn't her proven to her by now how much he loves her and is devoted to her? Really, if things were a bit different... ...
However, since she seems to be stuck on how he calls Flamek "partner" and thinking back on how that all even came about, he begins to see how deeply she feels about him and how much she wants to be a part of his life. And if he had to be honest, if the roles were reversed and she called her gloves or something else her partner as well, he might feel a bit jealous... A bit. A lot.
So with a slight smile forming, he closes the distance between them, his arm wrapping around her waist, hands slipping under tank top to slide over those well toned abdominal muscles as he pulls her half onto his lap to hold her against him.]
I see. You want to monopolize me, is that it?
[His chin rests on her shoulder, lips brushing against her ear as he speaks in a low voice.]
[It's so easy for him to just do these things—to just wrap himself around her and pull her to him like this, and to chase her doubts away so effortlessly. And while she slides against him, her body molding to his with ease, there's still a flush of embarrassment that washes over her.]
No, it's not that...
[Isn't it, though? Is that what those feelings were? And why, of all the things to provoke them, was it a gun!? It could just have been that the aftermath of what happened that day had rooted itself deeper in her than she thought it would, but even then...]
I just want... [The sound interrupts herself with betrays her, so Tifa dips her head away when she feels his breath hot on her ear, and she offers him an answer in a small voice.] I want to be your partner...
Flamek is only my partner when in battle—it's just a weapon, same way you probably feel with your fists. And it's only because I used to work alone so it was the only thing I could really rely on. It's more representative of my past.
You, however...
[He pauses only to lightly brush his lips against her ear and then her neck, kissing her softly.]
You are my partner for everything. No matter where I am or what I do, you're always a part of me and part of most every decision I make. And when in battle, you're also my partner, someone I can rely and trust.
[He shifts slightly so he can look at her properly, his eyes genuine and sincere as he takes on a more serious countenance.]
Tifa, you are my partner now, and I want you to be there in my future. I told you before... You are the one I chose to be my partner for life. The one I chose to give my heart and soul to. No one else. Not even Flamek.
[He did tell her, and she heard him then. She understood. Even as he says them know, she knows that he means them with all his heart and that she believes him with her entire being, but there is still that strange twinge of something else. Something uglier that always needles its way through her—that is likely the cause of all those images she created in her head. It nips at her every time his lips brush over her neck, or when he presses those tender kisses to her lips, or when he reminds her that he chose her.
It's that desperate need to be there at his side. To be the only person at his side. The only person he would ever have eyes for...
It's unnatural and inexplicable, and it makes her sick to her stomach. It's strange for her to feel and yet, with every touch of his fingertips on her skin, that feeling only ever grows, like a fire being stoked. It's not something she's ever truly faced—or even noticed—until the dream... or possibly even before, when she felt her place at his side had been in danger, and not just because of a gun, but because of him, too.
And his words... they only rekindle that feeling all over again.]
Enough about Flamek.
[She almost growls it against his lips. Stop saying it. She doesn't want to breathe any more life into the dream than she already has. It only makes her think of the woman on his lap, the woman in that beautiful white wedding gown that he kissed at the altar...
Tifa grits her teeth, and she pulls back, enough for him to see the sincerity in her eyes as it all comes spilling out of her before she can think to stop it.]
When my place next to you feels threatened, I... I don't like it...
[This was something he probably already knew, but not something she had ever said out loud before.]
I don't like that I wasn't there with you that day. That I couldn't protect you. ... Or heal you. [And before he can utter a single protest to that, she presses her finger to firmly to his lips. They are not going to get into it again. But her steady voice breaks as she goes on.] Sometimes I... I want it to be me. I want you to think of me...
[To be the sole object of his thoughts, his desires, and his heart is a selfish wish, but the deeper she falls, the harder it becomes to pull herself out.
And as she says those words, she realizes in that moment that she still isn't over it, and that this has nothing to do with Flamek. Rather, it was everything else at the time as she thinks back to his bandaged arm and hearing the news that he had been shot. To the things they had said to one another after. To Diaspora, and the lightning that pierced the skies as he pulled the trigger and destroyed it. And then, she thinks back to the girl in the weapons shop...
In the end, Flamek became the thing that she could blame for all these jealous feelings and her subconscious had recognized that. Twisted it into something that it could use against or.
Or, perhaps it was to wake her up and make her realize how stupid this all is, and that she has nothing to fear. To remind her that she really is in his heart where she wants to be.]
Eustace... [His name comes out firm. Steady. If only to pull herself free from those thoughts. And her voice carries the weight behind her question.] ... Do you love me?
[At first blush it seems like a stupid question to ask him at this point, but he immediately realizes it's not a test. She only needs one answer, one he gives without any hesitation or second thought.]
I love you. Only you.
[His own eyes and voice carry the weight of his own sincerity, three words that carry the many feelings he has for her that he can't say. Although his love is sincere, it can't really be said it's completely wholesome or pure. So instead of sounding light or romantic, it's heavy. Heavy with his own possessiveness and wants.
Because he feels the same way as she does—has since the very beginning. Even before he decided to commit that dark feeling had started to sprout and grown. When he had asked her about her wanting to monopolize him, it had been a reflection of his own desires to do so. To keep her to him, to not let anyone else touch her or come too close. For him to be the only one in her eyes, her mind, her heart. And like Tifa he, too, realizes there are unreasonable extremes which is why he keeps it hidden deep in his heart, bits and pieces seeping out every now and then when his own jealous bouts rear their ugly heads.
So when he says he loves her, it's more than that. It's like he's repeating a vow over and over again—that he's bound himself to her and has also bound her to him. That she's the one he wants and he'll do whatever it takes to keep her.
Even if she protests.
Already those vines are starting to crawl their way up the tree and into the room, curling around the feet of the bed.]
It's not a test, or a reminder, but an affirmation that he knows what she feels, because she's always known that he's had those same feelings, too. He had been able to face them sooner, perhaps as soon as the time his heart had been consumed by that magic creature. It didn't make him this way, but it only awakened these things, not so unlike the dream. This... This had been Tifa's. This dream has turned into the thing she needed for her to realize and accept that she was no different. No matter how ugly those feelings were, no matter how irrational or terrible she felt for having them, they were part of her. An affirmation that they belong together. To one another...
And more than that, it's an affirmation that he accepts her the same way she has him.
Like the vines that begin to coil around the bed, they've threaded their feelings tight to keep the other close—to wrap around and protect them, what they have, what they've created. To keep everything else out and create a world where it's only the two of them.
Her forehead falls against his at last, and she breathes a sigh over his lips, her nose nuzzling his. She takes him in for a moment, allowing herself to savour in this freeing feeling in her chest at finally embracing her every want and desire, and at pushing past the things that plague her.]
I don't like these feelings... [She brushes her lips over his.] So, help me... [Her eyes flutter open so that she can look into his, the depths of her words pooling deep in them.] Help me understand...
[She's always made it so easy for him to throw away those usual restraints, to pull out that side of him that she would only see. The way her voice, her eyes, the way she pleads for him—it makes that heat rush through his blood, a stirring in his lower abdomen that only she can provoke. If anyone else tried to do this, he'd throw them off with such cold disgust a whole block would freeze over.
But not Tifa.
Instead, she brings in that fire that melts everything that's still frozen.
A small smirk forms, a low "Hmmm" as a slight movement of his head brushes his lips against hers.]
So you're finally understanding how I feel, hm? But...
[His hands now drift, one snaking up the front of her chest as the other moves down, trailing down the lines of her abdominal muscles and straight down past the band of her underwear, fingertips hunting for that heat.]
...It seems I haven't done enough to show it if you still need help. Guess it's I'll use this to remind you.
[It's a dark whisper as his mouth captures hers roughly, hands moving with same aggressive fervor as the room darkens, those vines slithering up further and dark flowers slowly bloom.
He is going to guarantee that he will "teach" her so well that by the end of this there will be beyond a shadow of a doubt that the only thing she'll think about is him. The only thing she'll ever dream about is him and that she won't ever think about anyone else—even in jealousy. Even if it's in hatred, that's still putting focus on and being bothered by someone else—and he's not going to allow it.]
[By the time the two of them collapse on one another for the last time, the vines have crept up so high that they've formed almost a full cage around them, surrounding them with the same wildflowers that they've seen before, though rather than bright and vibrant petals, their colours are dark and deep reds and blues and purples. A steam had filled the room, almost like the moments following a heavy rainfall in the deepest parts of the rainforests, the dew sticking to their sweat and skin, and it's both stifling and riveting at the same time.
And somehow, a shadow had settled as well, turning the room dark and smothering the afternoon sun as it tries to wash over them.
Her entire body molds to his as they catch their breaths, their hearts beating in tandem with one another as if they make up two halves of the same whole. And they remain that way for a long time, holding one another as the electricity buzzing in the room settles into a dull heat, helping to relax them as they lie in each other's arms, and as Tifa silently praises him with peppered kisses and light touches along his arms.
And after any stretch of time—she stopped counting forever ago—she finally lifts her head from his chest and lays a tender kiss to his lips, her content, sleepy smile spreading wider as she looks at him.]
Hey... [Like every other time, it's always the first thing she asks, but with how intense this was, there's a little more weight to her question this time.] How are you?
[He had just been lying against her content, savoring their warmth and her scent. But he can't help but laugh as he opens one eye and answers in a low drawl.]
You always ask that. Feels like I should be one the one asking instead.
[However, he knows from the sound of her voice she might be asking about something else. Something that's more in relation to this cage and darkness that surrounds them.]
Just like he wants to take care of her, she wants to do the same for him, and this time... this time, Tifa knows that she had been a little different. She knows that she had played a part in all of this—all the things that surround them, and as content as he looks and sounds now, she wants to make sure that there were no other lingering thoughts about it. No doubts or worries or fears.
Her head falls back against his chest, but she's still looking at him and watching his expression carefully.]
[She lightly, playfully swats at his hands with a laugh when it tickles but makes no effort to stop him if he chooses to go a little further, and even kisses him again.]
How many lessons would that make it then?
[More than every other time, to be sure, but even they need a rest once in a while.]
[He'll stop at the light swatting—if only because there is serious question whether he would actually stop and not just go ahead and give her that "refresher."
But he now rolls onto his side, the roaming arm now draping over her hip as he gazes into her eyes, studying her.]
[He's always been able to read her so easily, so it's no surprise when he turns himself over and looks at her with that same observant stare reflected back. As much as she wishes she could say that they had been able to wipe it clean of everything, it's true that there is still plenty on her mind.
She presses her lips together in silent thought for a moment, wondering where to start.]
I thought I'd be scared of all this... Of all my feelings... [she finally begins, her gaze moving momentarily to the walls that have formed around them.] But I'm not. Not anymore, at least.
[He reaches up to lightly brush away her bangs, the back of his nails lightly grazing against her skin as his expression softens for a moment before he lets out a small breath.]
I know how you feel.
[His eyes momentarily rove up to the ivy cage around them, the dark flowers beautiful, but haunting and ominous.]
Before... When I first noticed my own feelings, I felt ashamed because we hadn't decided on anything yet. It took me a while to realize and accept them, and even then I was afraid you would be afraid if you knew.
[And then a light smirk as his thumb moves down, swiping against the lightly bruised and swollen lips that still look so red and tempting even now.]
[He draws a sharp breath out of her, her eyes closing and lips parting as his thumb brushes over them, the urge to simply end this conversation and replace his finger with his lips surging like a newly kindled flame... but she knows that this is something she needs to voice. Now that her actions have spoken for her, it's become a little easier to put it all into words.
And now that they've come down from their throes of passion, she can understand him a little better, too.]
I don't want you to be afraid, either.
[She knows that he isn't, but there's still that twinge of fear in the back of Tifa's mind that maybe she had taken it all too far. That he had seen a side of her that he hadn't expected or wanted to see. But she also knows that it's irrational. If he hadn't wanted that, he wouldn't be here.
It's her turn to let out another, gentler breath to shake off the thought.]
I just... I want to be with you. [The vines begin to slowly inch again, a little higher as her arms snake around him so that she can hide against his body, her face burying into his chest.] When you said those things about how you chose me, I realized... I want that.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
flamekthunder) wrote2025-04-07 09:12 pm
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She might have even preferred it if it were her. Maybe it would have made this less awkward to say "yes, I did have relations with your gun except it was a person and not actually a gun" and be done with it... although now that the train of thought crosses her mind, she thinks maybe not.
Tifa is almost relieved when he considers dropping the subject but just as she's about to open her mouth to agree, the dream begins to play back just as she remembers it. All of it from her point of view.
And while he watches it, Tifa slowly sinks back beneath the covers and brings them and a pillow over her head to hide from him. She's going to burn a hole right through the sheets and the mattress at this rate with how hot it's becoming under here... Especially when she remembers that he'll hear all of the things she imagined him saying to Flamek in the dream...]
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And stranger....
Once it gets to the wedding he's now just very slowly turning his head towards Tifa, his eyes wide with so much bewilderment and disbelief. Really? SHE REALLY WORRIED ABOUT AND DREAMED ALL THIS UP—
He cuts it off before it ends—not that there was much more to it—and then just. Quietly sets the crystal down before there's a rather long stretch of silence.
He has no words.]
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........
Is it over?
Why is it so quiet?
Did he watch it?
Why is it so quiet?
Is he still there or was he so stunned or so offended or so afraid that he just got up and left?
WHY IS IT SO QUIET????
Tifa is too afraid to lift the blankets and the pillow to check, but after what feels like an eternity of silence, she finally finds the courage to say a single word.]
... hello?
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Even after she speaks out he continues to just be. Rather quiet. Until at last he finally and very slowly speaks.]
...So. You were jealous about Flamek?
[He could at least make that conclusion fairly quickly.]
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When he finally does, it startles Tifa—not just his voice, but his incredibly blunt choice of words, even if that was definitely the case. Even she knows it now, looking back, now that she's had a little bit of time to try processing what she saw in the dream while she lay beneath the covers.
There's a shift, and slowly, the pillow falls off from over her face, and her eyes peek out to look at him. Or look near him. She's too scared to know what his reaction is.]
... Jealous feels like such a strong word.
[Except it's not. That's exactly what it is.]
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...But it's a gun. And as far as we're aware, they don't have humanoid forms like the one in your dream.
[...There's Grynoth and the automagods but that's totally different.]
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I know! [She protests, sitting up finally, her frustration ringing clear in her voice.] I don't get it either.
[Does she wish she did? Maybe not? She wishes that she could just throw this all away and pretend that it never happened, but as she looks from Eustace to Flamek on the wall, she swears she hears it humming back at her...]
When you said that Flamek was... [When he said that it was his partner, she wants to say, but Tifa can't bring herself to finish the sentence. She already knows how stupid it all sounds. She shakes her head with a groan.] Never mind.
It's stupid.
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It's not if it makes you feel like this.
[He moves a little closer to her.]
What do you mean? What did I say about Flamek that upset you?
[He has—in this case unfortunate—great memory, but he doesn't really want to think about the dream again. He has one possible suspicion, but he'll try to see if Tifa will tell him.]
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[Tifa slides her legs from the bed and sits with her back to him, but she watches him through the corners of her eyes over her shoulder.]
After what you showed me, and all we talked about, when you said that Flamek was your partner...
[Ugh, this feels so dumb just saying it out loud!!! She isn't even mad about it, just so mortified and embarrassed and, quite frankly, still a little jealous of the woman in the dream. It's an ugly blend of emotions that has every inch of her skin turning red.]
Maybe it... I guess it just got to me a little.
[But then he had said something else to her. For Tifa. Those words were meant for her and yet... in her subconscious mind, he had said them to that woman instead.]
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Rationally, Eustace thinks this is a needless worry that she really doesn't need to have. Hasn't her proven to her by now how much he loves her and is devoted to her? Really, if things were a bit different... ...
However, since she seems to be stuck on how he calls Flamek "partner" and thinking back on how that all even came about, he begins to see how deeply she feels about him and how much she wants to be a part of his life. And if he had to be honest, if the roles were reversed and she called her gloves or something else her partner as well, he might feel a bit jealous... A bit.
A lot.So with a slight smile forming, he closes the distance between them, his arm wrapping around her waist, hands slipping under tank top to slide over those well toned abdominal muscles as he pulls her half onto his lap to hold her against him.]
I see. You want to monopolize me, is that it?
[His chin rests on her shoulder, lips brushing against her ear as he speaks in a low voice.]
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No, it's not that...
[Isn't it, though? Is that what those feelings were? And why, of all the things to provoke them, was it a gun!? It could just have been that the aftermath of what happened that day had rooted itself deeper in her than she thought it would, but even then...]
I just want... [The sound interrupts herself with betrays her, so Tifa dips her head away when she feels his breath hot on her ear, and she offers him an answer in a small voice.] I want to be your partner...
[Totally not the same thing, you see.]
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[His voice softens as he continues to hug her.]
Flamek is only my partner when in battle—it's just a weapon, same way you probably feel with your fists. And it's only because I used to work alone so it was the only thing I could really rely on. It's more representative of my past.
You, however...
[He pauses only to lightly brush his lips against her ear and then her neck, kissing her softly.]
You are my partner for everything. No matter where I am or what I do, you're always a part of me and part of most every decision I make. And when in battle, you're also my partner, someone I can rely and trust.
[He shifts slightly so he can look at her properly, his eyes genuine and sincere as he takes on a more serious countenance.]
Tifa, you are my partner now, and I want you to be there in my future. I told you before... You are the one I chose to be my partner for life. The one I chose to give my heart and soul to. No one else. Not even Flamek.
[He brushes his lips against hers.]
Not like this.
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It's that desperate need to be there at his side. To be the only person at his side. The only person he would ever have eyes for...
It's unnatural and inexplicable, and it makes her sick to her stomach. It's strange for her to feel and yet, with every touch of his fingertips on her skin, that feeling only ever grows, like a fire being stoked. It's not something she's ever truly faced—or even noticed—until the dream... or possibly even before, when she felt her place at his side had been in danger, and not just because of a gun, but because of him, too.
And his words... they only rekindle that feeling all over again.]
Enough about Flamek.
[She almost growls it against his lips. Stop saying it. She doesn't want to breathe any more life into the dream than she already has. It only makes her think of the woman on his lap, the woman in that beautiful white wedding gown that he kissed at the altar...
Tifa grits her teeth, and she pulls back, enough for him to see the sincerity in her eyes as it all comes spilling out of her before she can think to stop it.]
When my place next to you feels threatened, I... I don't like it...
[This was something he probably already knew, but not something she had ever said out loud before.]
I don't like that I wasn't there with you that day. That I couldn't protect you. ... Or heal you. [And before he can utter a single protest to that, she presses her finger to firmly to his lips. They are not going to get into it again. But her steady voice breaks as she goes on.] Sometimes I... I want it to be me. I want you to think of me...
[To be the sole object of his thoughts, his desires, and his heart is a selfish wish, but the deeper she falls, the harder it becomes to pull herself out.
And as she says those words, she realizes in that moment that she still isn't over it, and that this has nothing to do with Flamek. Rather, it was everything else at the time as she thinks back to his bandaged arm and hearing the news that he had been shot. To the things they had said to one another after. To Diaspora, and the lightning that pierced the skies as he pulled the trigger and destroyed it. And then, she thinks back to the girl in the weapons shop...
In the end, Flamek became the thing that she could blame for all these jealous feelings and her subconscious had recognized that. Twisted it into something that it could use against or.
Or, perhaps it was to wake her up and make her realize how stupid this all is, and that she has nothing to fear. To remind her that she really is in his heart where she wants to be.]
Eustace... [His name comes out firm. Steady. If only to pull herself free from those thoughts. And her voice carries the weight behind her question.] ... Do you love me?
no subject
I love you. Only you.
[His own eyes and voice carry the weight of his own sincerity, three words that carry the many feelings he has for her that he can't say. Although his love is sincere, it can't really be said it's completely wholesome or pure. So instead of sounding light or romantic, it's heavy. Heavy with his own possessiveness and wants.
Because he feels the same way as she does—has since the very beginning. Even before he decided to commit that dark feeling had started to sprout and grown. When he had asked her about her wanting to monopolize him, it had been a reflection of his own desires to do so. To keep her to him, to not let anyone else touch her or come too close. For him to be the only one in her eyes, her mind, her heart. And like Tifa he, too, realizes there are unreasonable extremes which is why he keeps it hidden deep in his heart, bits and pieces seeping out every now and then when his own jealous bouts rear their ugly heads.
So when he says he loves her, it's more than that. It's like he's repeating a vow over and over again—that he's bound himself to her and has also bound her to him. That she's the one he wants and he'll do whatever it takes to keep her.
Even if she protests.
Already those vines are starting to crawl their way up the tree and into the room, curling around the feet of the bed.]
no subject
It's not a test, or a reminder, but an affirmation that he knows what she feels, because she's always known that he's had those same feelings, too. He had been able to face them sooner, perhaps as soon as the time his heart had been consumed by that magic creature. It didn't make him this way, but it only awakened these things, not so unlike the dream. This... This had been Tifa's. This dream has turned into the thing she needed for her to realize and accept that she was no different. No matter how ugly those feelings were, no matter how irrational or terrible she felt for having them, they were part of her. An affirmation that they belong together. To one another...
And more than that, it's an affirmation that he accepts her the same way she has him.
Like the vines that begin to coil around the bed, they've threaded their feelings tight to keep the other close—to wrap around and protect them, what they have, what they've created. To keep everything else out and create a world where it's only the two of them.
Her forehead falls against his at last, and she breathes a sigh over his lips, her nose nuzzling his. She takes him in for a moment, allowing herself to savour in this freeing feeling in her chest at finally embracing her every want and desire, and at pushing past the things that plague her.]
I don't like these feelings... [She brushes her lips over his.] So, help me... [Her eyes flutter open so that she can look into his, the depths of her words pooling deep in them.] Help me understand...
no subject
But not Tifa.
Instead, she brings in that fire that melts everything that's still frozen.
A small smirk forms, a low "Hmmm" as a slight movement of his head brushes his lips against hers.]
So you're finally understanding how I feel, hm? But...
[His hands now drift, one snaking up the front of her chest as the other moves down, trailing down the lines of her abdominal muscles and straight down past the band of her underwear, fingertips hunting for that heat.]
...It seems I haven't done enough to show it if you still need help. Guess it's I'll use this to remind you.
[It's a dark whisper as his mouth captures hers roughly, hands moving with same aggressive fervor as the room darkens, those vines slithering up further and dark flowers slowly bloom.
He is going to guarantee that he will "teach" her so well that by the end of this there will be beyond a shadow of a doubt that the only thing she'll think about is him. The only thing she'll ever dream about is him and that she won't ever think about anyone else—even in jealousy. Even if it's in hatred, that's still putting focus on and being bothered by someone else—and he's not going to allow it.]
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And somehow, a shadow had settled as well, turning the room dark and smothering the afternoon sun as it tries to wash over them.
Her entire body molds to his as they catch their breaths, their hearts beating in tandem with one another as if they make up two halves of the same whole. And they remain that way for a long time, holding one another as the electricity buzzing in the room settles into a dull heat, helping to relax them as they lie in each other's arms, and as Tifa silently praises him with peppered kisses and light touches along his arms.
And after any stretch of time—she stopped counting forever ago—she finally lifts her head from his chest and lays a tender kiss to his lips, her content, sleepy smile spreading wider as she looks at him.]
Hey... [Like every other time, it's always the first thing she asks, but with how intense this was, there's a little more weight to her question this time.] How are you?
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You always ask that. Feels like I should be one the one asking instead.
[However, he knows from the sound of her voice she might be asking about something else. Something that's more in relation to this cage and darkness that surrounds them.]
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[Always.
Just like he wants to take care of her, she wants to do the same for him, and this time... this time, Tifa knows that she had been a little different. She knows that she had played a part in all of this—all the things that surround them, and as content as he looks and sounds now, she wants to make sure that there were no other lingering thoughts about it. No doubts or worries or fears.
Her head falls back against his chest, but she's still looking at him and watching his expression carefully.]
I'm fine. ... Better.
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[There's a light tease in his voice as his hands slowly creep up her sides.]
Do I still need to teach you more?
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How many lessons would that make it then?
[More than every other time, to be sure, but even they need a rest once in a while.]
Save some stuff for the refresher course.
[Later? Yes, probably.]
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[He'll stop at the light swatting—if only because there is serious question whether he would actually stop and not just go ahead and give her that "refresher."
But he now rolls onto his side, the roaming arm now draping over her hip as he gazes into her eyes, studying her.]
...There's something still on your mind.
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She presses her lips together in silent thought for a moment, wondering where to start.]
I thought I'd be scared of all this... Of all my feelings... [she finally begins, her gaze moving momentarily to the walls that have formed around them.] But I'm not. Not anymore, at least.
[Thanks to him.]
I think I get what it all means now...
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[He reaches up to lightly brush away her bangs, the back of his nails lightly grazing against her skin as his expression softens for a moment before he lets out a small breath.]
I know how you feel.
[His eyes momentarily rove up to the ivy cage around them, the dark flowers beautiful, but haunting and ominous.]
Before... When I first noticed my own feelings, I felt ashamed because we hadn't decided on anything yet. It took me a while to realize and accept them, and even then I was afraid you would be afraid if you knew.
[And then a light smirk as his thumb moves down, swiping against the lightly bruised and swollen lips that still look so red and tempting even now.]
Didn't take me long to realize it didn't matter.
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And now that they've come down from their throes of passion, she can understand him a little better, too.]
I don't want you to be afraid, either.
[She knows that he isn't, but there's still that twinge of fear in the back of Tifa's mind that maybe she had taken it all too far. That he had seen a side of her that he hadn't expected or wanted to see. But she also knows that it's irrational. If he hadn't wanted that, he wouldn't be here.
It's her turn to let out another, gentler breath to shake off the thought.]
I just... I want to be with you. [The vines begin to slowly inch again, a little higher as her arms snake around him so that she can hide against his body, her face burying into his chest.] When you said those things about how you chose me, I realized... I want that.
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someone please contain these two we give up