[Eustace had been sitting in bed reading a book. He had awoken a little before her and had decided to just let her continue sleeping, a light smile on his face as he first gently stroked her hair before cleaning up a bit and settling back in. Granted he...hadn't meant to make her so tired, but that's just what happens whenever the two of them decide to spend a lazy day together at home. Getting out of bed is usually hard to do.
But he actually drops his book in surprise when she suddenly shoots up and he just stares at her wide-eyed in bewilderment, the light of his crystal lantern resting at his bedside momentarily missed as his attention is more on her.]
[It's then that Tifa registers where she is, and she slowly blinks the sleepiness away, or tries to. It takes another moment for her eyes to adjust to the light and refocus on the real world around her, only to realize...]
Eustace...?
[Oh god. He's here? When did that happen!? No, he was probably always here. Did he hear her!? She didn't talk in her sleep, did she? Not that it matters. She had practically screamed when she woke up, but maybe by some miracle, he didn't understand her.]
What are you...? I mean... [She sighs, and then murmurs under her breath, a hand coming up to rub over her eyes, but she makes a face when she feels how sweaty she is.] ... It was just a dream...
[She doesn't answer him right away, his hand resting on her head startling her a little more before her eyes flick to the gun hanging on the wall, and then to his crystal that shimmers and glows on the table on his side of the bed...
.....
And Tifa doesn't say a word as she stretches over him and snatches it up before he can see it and slides it under the covers in a single swift motion.]
It was nothing important. Kinda boring, actually. [Haha ha hahaha ha!] You were just...
[Dear lord, her face is turning so red now, isn't it?]
Did she really think he wouldn't notice her weird movements!?!??
And a quick glance back is enough to tell him what she took. In truth he thought about using the crystal but no, he respects her privacy. But with how she's acting?
....Did she have some weird dream with her and Flamek (narrator: his guess was way off).
Eyes darkening, he stares at her for a long moment.]
Tifa.
[That is very much a tone that is telling her if she doesn't tell the truth he will make the truth happen.]
[She knows that tone. It's the kind that leaves a shiver up her spine, and beneath the sheets, she clutches his crystal lantern a little tighter, using every ounce of willpower she has not to let her eyes move back to the gun. She doesn't want to look at it right now, too disgusted by it—no, by her own weird subconscious feelings—but it's so hard not to.]
It's fine... It was just a stupid dream.
[She insists on it, her voice urging him to let it go, but when she catches a glimpse of him and the way he's looking at her, she knows that it'll only be a matter of time before he gets the truth out of her one way or another. Ugh, why must he be this way!!!
...
.....
So there's a stretch of silence that falls between them during which Tifa opens her mouth, closes it, and opens it again to speak, but only an uncomfortable sound comes out at first before it turns into a sigh, and she clears her throat.]
[While he does enjoy making her squirm, in this case he is focused in trying to figure what the hell she dreamed that's gotten her so riled up that wasn't him. He even considers snatching the crystal while she's distracted by him, but he instead continues to wait and see if she'll tell him himself.
His expression does soften a little at her finally coming around, but he doesn't let up.]
It's so hard to lie to him but in this case, it might be necessary, if only to save her dignity. What dignity, she asks herself? The small crumb that she still has left that wasn't shredded by her own hands when she dreamt that his gun was a woman, and she was seducing him.
How is she even supposed to explain that!?
She squirms a little more, lifting the covers up closer to herself as she slides an inch away from him.]
I was— [She feels a lump in her throat that eats her words, and she swallows. Hard.] It was just really vivid is all. It surprised me.
He thinks about how she was yelling about Flamel not being a person and there's a hot flash of...some dark feeling as he takes away that inch by leaning closer to her, the room somehow darkening and almost feeling stifling.]
Tifa. Did you dream about having relations with Flamek?
[WHICH SOUNDS SO BIZARRE BECAUSE HIS WEAPON IS A GUN but dreams are weird and what she's said so far is not helping.]
What!? [She practically chokes the word out in complete disbelief because for a second, she thinks he's figured her out... Until it dawns on her that no, he has completely misunderstood and has it all backwards, which isn't any better! And then if her voice could go any higher, it does.] No!
[WHERE IN THE WORLD DID HE EVEN—oh. Right. Still, the thought of her having relations with the gun!? That woman? Granted, she was beautiful and...
Wait, no. Why is she getting so worked up about something that never happened!?
Still, she screws her eyes shut and gives a fervent shake of her head, leaning away from him as he draws closer.
....
To his credit, he wasn't entirely off the money.]
Not quite...
[She shrinks back a little more and slips her hand out from under the covers to offer him his crystal back without looking him in the eye once.
The only way she is going to clear the air on that is by telling him the truth.]
It was you, and... Maybe it's better if you just see for yourself...
[Please don't make her try to explain it with words.]
She might have even preferred it if it were her. Maybe it would have made this less awkward to say "yes, I did have relations with your gun except it was a person and not actually a gun" and be done with it... although now that the train of thought crosses her mind, she thinks maybe not.
Tifa is almost relieved when he considers dropping the subject but just as she's about to open her mouth to agree, the dream begins to play back just as she remembers it. All of it from her point of view.
And while he watches it, Tifa slowly sinks back beneath the covers and brings them and a pillow over her head to hide from him. She's going to burn a hole right through the sheets and the mattress at this rate with how hot it's becoming under here... Especially when she remembers that he'll hear all of the things she imagined him saying to Flamek in the dream...]
[It's like watching a giant wreck and while he could look away, he also finds himself so stunned that he can't. It starts off...weird but okay, but then it just gets stranger...
And stranger....
Once it gets to the wedding he's now just very slowly turning his head towards Tifa, his eyes wide with so much bewilderment and disbelief. Really? SHE REALLY WORRIED ABOUT AND DREAMED ALL THIS UP—
He cuts it off before it ends—not that there was much more to it—and then just. Quietly sets the crystal down before there's a rather long stretch of silence.
Is he still there or was he so stunned or so offended or so afraid that he just got up and left?
WHY IS IT SO QUIET????
Tifa is too afraid to lift the blankets and the pillow to check, but after what feels like an eternity of silence, she finally finds the courage to say a single word.]
[At this point, Eustace has been spending several minutes...processing this. To think Tifa would...imagine him being in love with his gun. And even give it a form?? And—it's really hard to continue through all this because it was just so.....absurd.
Even after she speaks out he continues to just be. Rather quiet. Until at last he finally and very slowly speaks.]
...So. You were jealous about Flamek?
[He could at least make that conclusion fairly quickly.]
When he finally does, it startles Tifa—not just his voice, but his incredibly blunt choice of words, even if that was definitely the case. Even she knows it now, looking back, now that she's had a little bit of time to try processing what she saw in the dream while she lay beneath the covers.
There's a shift, and slowly, the pillow falls off from over her face, and her eyes peek out to look at him. Or look near him. She's too scared to know what his reaction is.]
[IT MAKES IT SOUND SO MUCH WORSE WHEN HE SAYS IT LIKE THAT—]
I know! [She protests, sitting up finally, her frustration ringing clear in her voice.] I don't get it either.
[Does she wish she did? Maybe not? She wishes that she could just throw this all away and pretend that it never happened, but as she looks from Eustace to Flamek on the wall, she swears she hears it humming back at her...]
When you said that Flamek was... [When he said that it was his partner, she wants to say, but Tifa can't bring herself to finish the sentence. She already knows how stupid it all sounds. She shakes her head with a groan.] Never mind.
[If it were anyone else, he really would have said, "It is stupid," because honestly that's his main thought about all this. But he can see how much it frustrates and upsets her, so he is going to take more care with this.]
It's not if it makes you feel like this.
[He moves a little closer to her.]
What do you mean? What did I say about Flamek that upset you?
[He has—in this case unfortunate—great memory, but he doesn't really want to think about the dream again. He has one possible suspicion, but he'll try to see if Tifa will tell him.]
It didn't! [... Ah, she's getting riled up again. She takes a small breath and she deflates with her exhale.] It didn't upset me, it just...
[Tifa slides her legs from the bed and sits with her back to him, but she watches him through the corners of her eyes over her shoulder.]
After what you showed me, and all we talked about, when you said that Flamek was your partner...
[Ugh, this feels so dumb just saying it out loud!!! She isn't even mad about it, just so mortified and embarrassed and, quite frankly, still a little jealous of the woman in the dream. It's an ugly blend of emotions that has every inch of her skin turning red.]
Maybe it... I guess it just got to me a little.
[But then he had said something else to her. For Tifa. Those words were meant for her and yet... in her subconscious mind, he had said them to that woman instead.]
Rationally, Eustace thinks this is a needless worry that she really doesn't need to have. Hasn't her proven to her by now how much he loves her and is devoted to her? Really, if things were a bit different... ...
However, since she seems to be stuck on how he calls Flamek "partner" and thinking back on how that all even came about, he begins to see how deeply she feels about him and how much she wants to be a part of his life. And if he had to be honest, if the roles were reversed and she called her gloves or something else her partner as well, he might feel a bit jealous... A bit. A lot.
So with a slight smile forming, he closes the distance between them, his arm wrapping around her waist, hands slipping under tank top to slide over those well toned abdominal muscles as he pulls her half onto his lap to hold her against him.]
I see. You want to monopolize me, is that it?
[His chin rests on her shoulder, lips brushing against her ear as he speaks in a low voice.]
[It's so easy for him to just do these things—to just wrap himself around her and pull her to him like this, and to chase her doubts away so effortlessly. And while she slides against him, her body molding to his with ease, there's still a flush of embarrassment that washes over her.]
No, it's not that...
[Isn't it, though? Is that what those feelings were? And why, of all the things to provoke them, was it a gun!? It could just have been that the aftermath of what happened that day had rooted itself deeper in her than she thought it would, but even then...]
I just want... [The sound interrupts herself with betrays her, so Tifa dips her head away when she feels his breath hot on her ear, and she offers him an answer in a small voice.] I want to be your partner...
Flamek is only my partner when in battle—it's just a weapon, same way you probably feel with your fists. And it's only because I used to work alone so it was the only thing I could really rely on. It's more representative of my past.
You, however...
[He pauses only to lightly brush his lips against her ear and then her neck, kissing her softly.]
You are my partner for everything. No matter where I am or what I do, you're always a part of me and part of most every decision I make. And when in battle, you're also my partner, someone I can rely and trust.
[He shifts slightly so he can look at her properly, his eyes genuine and sincere as he takes on a more serious countenance.]
Tifa, you are my partner now, and I want you to be there in my future. I told you before... You are the one I chose to be my partner for life. The one I chose to give my heart and soul to. No one else. Not even Flamek.
[He did tell her, and she heard him then. She understood. Even as he says them know, she knows that he means them with all his heart and that she believes him with her entire being, but there is still that strange twinge of something else. Something uglier that always needles its way through her—that is likely the cause of all those images she created in her head. It nips at her every time his lips brush over her neck, or when he presses those tender kisses to her lips, or when he reminds her that he chose her.
It's that desperate need to be there at his side. To be the only person at his side. The only person he would ever have eyes for...
It's unnatural and inexplicable, and it makes her sick to her stomach. It's strange for her to feel and yet, with every touch of his fingertips on her skin, that feeling only ever grows, like a fire being stoked. It's not something she's ever truly faced—or even noticed—until the dream... or possibly even before, when she felt her place at his side had been in danger, and not just because of a gun, but because of him, too.
And his words... they only rekindle that feeling all over again.]
Enough about Flamek.
[She almost growls it against his lips. Stop saying it. She doesn't want to breathe any more life into the dream than she already has. It only makes her think of the woman on his lap, the woman in that beautiful white wedding gown that he kissed at the altar...
Tifa grits her teeth, and she pulls back, enough for him to see the sincerity in her eyes as it all comes spilling out of her before she can think to stop it.]
When my place next to you feels threatened, I... I don't like it...
[This was something he probably already knew, but not something she had ever said out loud before.]
I don't like that I wasn't there with you that day. That I couldn't protect you. ... Or heal you. [And before he can utter a single protest to that, she presses her finger to firmly to his lips. They are not going to get into it again. But her steady voice breaks as she goes on.] Sometimes I... I want it to be me. I want you to think of me...
[To be the sole object of his thoughts, his desires, and his heart is a selfish wish, but the deeper she falls, the harder it becomes to pull herself out.
And as she says those words, she realizes in that moment that she still isn't over it, and that this has nothing to do with Flamek. Rather, it was everything else at the time as she thinks back to his bandaged arm and hearing the news that he had been shot. To the things they had said to one another after. To Diaspora, and the lightning that pierced the skies as he pulled the trigger and destroyed it. And then, she thinks back to the girl in the weapons shop...
In the end, Flamek became the thing that she could blame for all these jealous feelings and her subconscious had recognized that. Twisted it into something that it could use against or.
Or, perhaps it was to wake her up and make her realize how stupid this all is, and that she has nothing to fear. To remind her that she really is in his heart where she wants to be.]
Eustace... [His name comes out firm. Steady. If only to pull herself free from those thoughts. And her voice carries the weight behind her question.] ... Do you love me?
[At first blush it seems like a stupid question to ask him at this point, but he immediately realizes it's not a test. She only needs one answer, one he gives without any hesitation or second thought.]
I love you. Only you.
[His own eyes and voice carry the weight of his own sincerity, three words that carry the many feelings he has for her that he can't say. Although his love is sincere, it can't really be said it's completely wholesome or pure. So instead of sounding light or romantic, it's heavy. Heavy with his own possessiveness and wants.
Because he feels the same way as she does—has since the very beginning. Even before he decided to commit that dark feeling had started to sprout and grown. When he had asked her about her wanting to monopolize him, it had been a reflection of his own desires to do so. To keep her to him, to not let anyone else touch her or come too close. For him to be the only one in her eyes, her mind, her heart. And like Tifa he, too, realizes there are unreasonable extremes which is why he keeps it hidden deep in his heart, bits and pieces seeping out every now and then when his own jealous bouts rear their ugly heads.
So when he says he loves her, it's more than that. It's like he's repeating a vow over and over again—that he's bound himself to her and has also bound her to him. That she's the one he wants and he'll do whatever it takes to keep her.
Even if she protests.
Already those vines are starting to crawl their way up the tree and into the room, curling around the feet of the bed.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
flamekthunder) wrote2025-04-07 09:12 pm
LMFAO STILL WHEEZING
But he actually drops his book in surprise when she suddenly shoots up and he just stares at her wide-eyed in bewilderment, the light of his crystal lantern resting at his bedside momentarily missed as his attention is more on her.]
Tifa!?
[What's this about Flamek???]
STILL CRYING
[It's then that Tifa registers where she is, and she slowly blinks the sleepiness away, or tries to. It takes another moment for her eyes to adjust to the light and refocus on the real world around her, only to realize...]
Eustace...?
[Oh god. He's here? When did that happen!? No, he was probably always here. Did he hear her!? She didn't talk in her sleep, did she? Not that it matters. She had practically screamed when she woke up, but maybe by some miracle, he didn't understand her.]
What are you...? I mean... [She sighs, and then murmurs under her breath, a hand coming up to rub over her eyes, but she makes a face when she feels how sweaty she is.] ... It was just a dream...
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What was it about? What's this about Flamek?
[Yeah him not hearing anything with those ears not happening.]
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.....
And Tifa doesn't say a word as she stretches over him and snatches it up before he can see it and slides it under the covers in a single swift motion.]
It was nothing important. Kinda boring, actually. [Haha ha hahaha ha!] You were just...
[Dear lord, her face is turning so red now, isn't it?]
Just cleaning it, and... that was that.
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.....
Did she just.
She did.
Did she really think he wouldn't notice her weird movements!?!??
And a quick glance back is enough to tell him what she took. In truth he thought about using the crystal but no, he respects her privacy. But with how she's acting?
....Did she have some weird dream with her and Flamek (narrator: his guess was way off).
Eyes darkening, he stares at her for a long moment.]
Tifa.
[That is very much a tone that is telling her if she doesn't tell the truth he will make the truth happen.]
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It's fine... It was just a stupid dream.
[She insists on it, her voice urging him to let it go, but when she catches a glimpse of him and the way he's looking at her, she knows that it'll only be a matter of time before he gets the truth out of her one way or another. Ugh, why must he be this way!!!
...
.....
So there's a stretch of silence that falls between them during which Tifa opens her mouth, closes it, and opens it again to speak, but only an uncomfortable sound comes out at first before it turns into a sigh, and she clears her throat.]
It's embarrassing...
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that wasn't him. He even considers snatching the crystal while she's distracted by him, but he instead continues to wait and see if she'll tell him himself.His expression does soften a little at her finally coming around, but he doesn't let up.]
In what way?
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It's so hard to lie to him but in this case, it might be necessary, if only to save her dignity. What dignity, she asks herself? The small crumb that she still has left that wasn't shredded by her own hands when she dreamt that his gun was a woman, and she was seducing him.
How is she even supposed to explain that!?
She squirms a little more, lifting the covers up closer to herself as she slides an inch away from him.]
I was— [She feels a lump in her throat that eats her words, and she swallows. Hard.] It was just really vivid is all. It surprised me.
[She's a terrible liar. Terrible.]
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He thinks about how she was yelling about Flamel not being a person and there's a hot flash of...some dark feeling as he takes away that inch by leaning closer to her, the room somehow darkening and almost feeling stifling.]
Tifa. Did you dream about having relations with Flamek?
[WHICH SOUNDS SO BIZARRE BECAUSE HIS WEAPON IS A GUN but dreams are weird and what she's said so far is not helping.]
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What!? [She practically chokes the word out in complete disbelief because for a second, she thinks he's figured her out... Until it dawns on her that no, he has completely misunderstood and has it all backwards, which isn't any better! And then if her voice could go any higher, it does.] No!
[WHERE IN THE WORLD DID HE EVEN—oh. Right. Still, the thought of her having relations with the gun!? That woman? Granted, she was beautiful and...
Wait, no. Why is she getting so worked up about something that never happened!?
Still, she screws her eyes shut and gives a fervent shake of her head, leaning away from him as he draws closer.
....
To his credit, he wasn't entirely off the money.]
Not quite...
[She shrinks back a little more and slips her hand out from under the covers to offer him his crystal back without looking him in the eye once.
The only way she is going to clear the air on that is by telling him the truth.]
It was you, and... Maybe it's better if you just see for yourself...
[Please don't make her try to explain it with words.]
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY "NOT QUITE" WAS IT SOME KIND OF DATE THEN??? WERE YOU TAKING CARE OF HIS GUN—
It actually takes him a second for him to register she said it was him and he just stares at her incredulously before slowly taking the crystal.]
...If you really don't want to talk about it...
[...
...
WELL now he kind of...feels bad.]
...Nevermind, it's just a dream so it doesn't matter—
[He's about to retract everything and apologize, but the moment his hand moves over the crystal, her dream immediately starts playing.
Well. There goes that.]
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She might have even preferred it if it were her. Maybe it would have made this less awkward to say "yes, I did have relations with your gun except it was a person and not actually a gun" and be done with it... although now that the train of thought crosses her mind, she thinks maybe not.
Tifa is almost relieved when he considers dropping the subject but just as she's about to open her mouth to agree, the dream begins to play back just as she remembers it. All of it from her point of view.
And while he watches it, Tifa slowly sinks back beneath the covers and brings them and a pillow over her head to hide from him. She's going to burn a hole right through the sheets and the mattress at this rate with how hot it's becoming under here... Especially when she remembers that he'll hear all of the things she imagined him saying to Flamek in the dream...]
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And stranger....
Once it gets to the wedding he's now just very slowly turning his head towards Tifa, his eyes wide with so much bewilderment and disbelief. Really? SHE REALLY WORRIED ABOUT AND DREAMED ALL THIS UP—
He cuts it off before it ends—not that there was much more to it—and then just. Quietly sets the crystal down before there's a rather long stretch of silence.
He has no words.]
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........
Is it over?
Why is it so quiet?
Did he watch it?
Why is it so quiet?
Is he still there or was he so stunned or so offended or so afraid that he just got up and left?
WHY IS IT SO QUIET????
Tifa is too afraid to lift the blankets and the pillow to check, but after what feels like an eternity of silence, she finally finds the courage to say a single word.]
... hello?
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Even after she speaks out he continues to just be. Rather quiet. Until at last he finally and very slowly speaks.]
...So. You were jealous about Flamek?
[He could at least make that conclusion fairly quickly.]
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When he finally does, it startles Tifa—not just his voice, but his incredibly blunt choice of words, even if that was definitely the case. Even she knows it now, looking back, now that she's had a little bit of time to try processing what she saw in the dream while she lay beneath the covers.
There's a shift, and slowly, the pillow falls off from over her face, and her eyes peek out to look at him. Or look near him. She's too scared to know what his reaction is.]
... Jealous feels like such a strong word.
[Except it's not. That's exactly what it is.]
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...But it's a gun. And as far as we're aware, they don't have humanoid forms like the one in your dream.
[...There's Grynoth and the automagods but that's totally different.]
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I know! [She protests, sitting up finally, her frustration ringing clear in her voice.] I don't get it either.
[Does she wish she did? Maybe not? She wishes that she could just throw this all away and pretend that it never happened, but as she looks from Eustace to Flamek on the wall, she swears she hears it humming back at her...]
When you said that Flamek was... [When he said that it was his partner, she wants to say, but Tifa can't bring herself to finish the sentence. She already knows how stupid it all sounds. She shakes her head with a groan.] Never mind.
It's stupid.
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It's not if it makes you feel like this.
[He moves a little closer to her.]
What do you mean? What did I say about Flamek that upset you?
[He has—in this case unfortunate—great memory, but he doesn't really want to think about the dream again. He has one possible suspicion, but he'll try to see if Tifa will tell him.]
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[Tifa slides her legs from the bed and sits with her back to him, but she watches him through the corners of her eyes over her shoulder.]
After what you showed me, and all we talked about, when you said that Flamek was your partner...
[Ugh, this feels so dumb just saying it out loud!!! She isn't even mad about it, just so mortified and embarrassed and, quite frankly, still a little jealous of the woman in the dream. It's an ugly blend of emotions that has every inch of her skin turning red.]
Maybe it... I guess it just got to me a little.
[But then he had said something else to her. For Tifa. Those words were meant for her and yet... in her subconscious mind, he had said them to that woman instead.]
no subject
Rationally, Eustace thinks this is a needless worry that she really doesn't need to have. Hasn't her proven to her by now how much he loves her and is devoted to her? Really, if things were a bit different... ...
However, since she seems to be stuck on how he calls Flamek "partner" and thinking back on how that all even came about, he begins to see how deeply she feels about him and how much she wants to be a part of his life. And if he had to be honest, if the roles were reversed and she called her gloves or something else her partner as well, he might feel a bit jealous... A bit.
A lot.So with a slight smile forming, he closes the distance between them, his arm wrapping around her waist, hands slipping under tank top to slide over those well toned abdominal muscles as he pulls her half onto his lap to hold her against him.]
I see. You want to monopolize me, is that it?
[His chin rests on her shoulder, lips brushing against her ear as he speaks in a low voice.]
no subject
No, it's not that...
[Isn't it, though? Is that what those feelings were? And why, of all the things to provoke them, was it a gun!? It could just have been that the aftermath of what happened that day had rooted itself deeper in her than she thought it would, but even then...]
I just want... [The sound interrupts herself with betrays her, so Tifa dips her head away when she feels his breath hot on her ear, and she offers him an answer in a small voice.] I want to be your partner...
[Totally not the same thing, you see.]
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[His voice softens as he continues to hug her.]
Flamek is only my partner when in battle—it's just a weapon, same way you probably feel with your fists. And it's only because I used to work alone so it was the only thing I could really rely on. It's more representative of my past.
You, however...
[He pauses only to lightly brush his lips against her ear and then her neck, kissing her softly.]
You are my partner for everything. No matter where I am or what I do, you're always a part of me and part of most every decision I make. And when in battle, you're also my partner, someone I can rely and trust.
[He shifts slightly so he can look at her properly, his eyes genuine and sincere as he takes on a more serious countenance.]
Tifa, you are my partner now, and I want you to be there in my future. I told you before... You are the one I chose to be my partner for life. The one I chose to give my heart and soul to. No one else. Not even Flamek.
[He brushes his lips against hers.]
Not like this.
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It's that desperate need to be there at his side. To be the only person at his side. The only person he would ever have eyes for...
It's unnatural and inexplicable, and it makes her sick to her stomach. It's strange for her to feel and yet, with every touch of his fingertips on her skin, that feeling only ever grows, like a fire being stoked. It's not something she's ever truly faced—or even noticed—until the dream... or possibly even before, when she felt her place at his side had been in danger, and not just because of a gun, but because of him, too.
And his words... they only rekindle that feeling all over again.]
Enough about Flamek.
[She almost growls it against his lips. Stop saying it. She doesn't want to breathe any more life into the dream than she already has. It only makes her think of the woman on his lap, the woman in that beautiful white wedding gown that he kissed at the altar...
Tifa grits her teeth, and she pulls back, enough for him to see the sincerity in her eyes as it all comes spilling out of her before she can think to stop it.]
When my place next to you feels threatened, I... I don't like it...
[This was something he probably already knew, but not something she had ever said out loud before.]
I don't like that I wasn't there with you that day. That I couldn't protect you. ... Or heal you. [And before he can utter a single protest to that, she presses her finger to firmly to his lips. They are not going to get into it again. But her steady voice breaks as she goes on.] Sometimes I... I want it to be me. I want you to think of me...
[To be the sole object of his thoughts, his desires, and his heart is a selfish wish, but the deeper she falls, the harder it becomes to pull herself out.
And as she says those words, she realizes in that moment that she still isn't over it, and that this has nothing to do with Flamek. Rather, it was everything else at the time as she thinks back to his bandaged arm and hearing the news that he had been shot. To the things they had said to one another after. To Diaspora, and the lightning that pierced the skies as he pulled the trigger and destroyed it. And then, she thinks back to the girl in the weapons shop...
In the end, Flamek became the thing that she could blame for all these jealous feelings and her subconscious had recognized that. Twisted it into something that it could use against or.
Or, perhaps it was to wake her up and make her realize how stupid this all is, and that she has nothing to fear. To remind her that she really is in his heart where she wants to be.]
Eustace... [His name comes out firm. Steady. If only to pull herself free from those thoughts. And her voice carries the weight behind her question.] ... Do you love me?
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I love you. Only you.
[His own eyes and voice carry the weight of his own sincerity, three words that carry the many feelings he has for her that he can't say. Although his love is sincere, it can't really be said it's completely wholesome or pure. So instead of sounding light or romantic, it's heavy. Heavy with his own possessiveness and wants.
Because he feels the same way as she does—has since the very beginning. Even before he decided to commit that dark feeling had started to sprout and grown. When he had asked her about her wanting to monopolize him, it had been a reflection of his own desires to do so. To keep her to him, to not let anyone else touch her or come too close. For him to be the only one in her eyes, her mind, her heart. And like Tifa he, too, realizes there are unreasonable extremes which is why he keeps it hidden deep in his heart, bits and pieces seeping out every now and then when his own jealous bouts rear their ugly heads.
So when he says he loves her, it's more than that. It's like he's repeating a vow over and over again—that he's bound himself to her and has also bound her to him. That she's the one he wants and he'll do whatever it takes to keep her.
Even if she protests.
Already those vines are starting to crawl their way up the tree and into the room, curling around the feet of the bed.]
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someone please contain these two we give up