[Her free hand reaches up to touch the back of his neck, her own expression crumpling with a weird mix of immense relief and frustration when she feels nothing there.]
When you were in that form, as a lindwurm, there was this black crystal on your back. It got bigger and spread more over you as time went on, and when we managed to break it, I could see the white scales underneath. [There's a pause, and her lips press together.] It was almost like it was... I don't know, feeding off your nostilium.
[She had assumed as much, but hearing it confirmed only makes her heart sink to the bottom of the pool, and her fingers squeeze at his arm unintentionally.]
... From where, though? And how did it get... there?
I don't even know how they are made... The only times I've seen them were either in that cave we found, or after that nocteare. And I have no idea how the noctaere had it inside it.
[She shifts a little uncomfortably, having to recall it aloud. It's not as if it was their first time ever doing something like that, but it never makes it any easier to talk about it after. Especially when it had ended the way it did.]
The one where... you were dressed in that vampire costume...
[Her finger taps nervously on his arm.]
The one that ended in... a nightmare? And we had no idea why... or how...
[Is how he answers at first, but as he rubs the back of his neck...
...]
Wait.
[He thinks hard. His memory is impeccable and while he may not remember every small detail, when he looks back at certain patterns...]
...I remember in that dream, I felt something cold on the back of my neck, as if I were bitten by something. But it was so slight I didn't think much of it. And now that I think about it, I remember something similar when we were leaving that cave, like something pricked the back of my neck.
Ever since, I would feel odd chills or something stinging whenever there was a lot of nostilium... Even the last nightmare, it was stronger.
So whatever it is, it had to have started from that cave.
[She listens carefully once more, her every sense tuned into him, her eyes flitting across his expression to read him as worry and dread slowly fill her again. It's as she suspected, but having it confirmed only makes every thought and feeling she's felt since that day come rushing back.]
It was that long ago...
[Her eyes drop to the water, and to the scales on his arm as her fingers start to move over them again.]
I should have noticed something was wrong... and should have questioned you more back then after that dream, but I just didn't think much of it after we woke up.
[Nightmares happen, and she wondered if that had been it, but even then, she felt at odds with herself for days afterwards.]
His hand goes over hers as he moves in a little closer to her.]
No, you shouldn't have.
[His voice is firm as he looks at her directly in her eyes.]
Not even the machines and systems in Orkili noticed it, and whatever signs I did have were so subtle and not unusual that it would be unreasonable for you to think otherwise.
[Did he really expect otherwise? It's been on her mind since he turned, and then even more in the three days before he woke up while she was alone with her thoughts.
But his eyes and his firm voice capture her attention, willing her to look at him again, though her expression is still laced with worry and guilt... followed by understanding. It is true that nothing else had picked up on the crystal's existence there, and how was she supposed to know? That one dream had been a one-off, and by the time the nightmare happened, it had made a little more sense given what he'd been up to recently...
Even still, she wishes so much that she could have found something—anything that would have given them a sign, and they could prevent it from happening.]
I know.
[Her voice falls quiet, and with a rueful look, she leans in closer in turn, until her forehead bumps his.]
I just... I wish we could have stopped it. But it sounds like it was... almost inevitable.
At least how it came to be... Perhaps if we noticed maybe there could have been a way to extract it, but—
[He purses his lips.]
It's not as if we never felt that area, and there was no visible discomfort or presence. It may not have even been solid until that moment when I turned.
[She doesn't like the sound of any of that at all. The fact that anything could be buried into the back of his neck and evade any detection is disconcerting, to say the least, and she's trying not to feel even a little bit paranoid about it. It's not working.
But another thought does occur to her, and there's a flicker of sadness in her eyes.]
... I wonder if that's how Violet found her way into your dreams. If she could sense it or something.
...I don't know, it's possible. If we assume that the crystal was absorbing nostilium, then...she could have been attracted to it. But she also could have just been attracted to me to begin with.
[Her name does hang heavier in the air between them... They never did get the chance to properly process what happened... Not even that moment they took in the forest was enough time, and Tifa's hand that had been at his arm moves slowly down his arm to take his hand again.]
I really do think that she saved you. Even if you still turned because of that crystal, I think it could've been a lot worse.
[She hums from where her head has found his shoulder, but she doesn't look up at him. Instead, she just watches the water ripple with each movement they make beneath it, the motion oddly soothing.]
[Tifa understands. She felt the same way when she had pieced all of it together, but she doesn't want to think of it that way anymore. It would only breathe more life into that thought when they could look at it differently.]
I know what you mean... I thought that, too. For a while.
[Eustace has always done this for her when she had doubts, and now...]
But we can't think of it that way. If Violet hadn't done what she'd done for you, who knows how many other people would have been hurt, or the destruction that could've been caused...
I believe that it was a combination of you and her fighting against it that I didn't end up getting hurt in the end. And that it was her love for you that made all of that possible. No matter how much nostilium she took in, I don't think that much ever changed.
[With a bit of a rueful, apologetic smile, she lifts a hand out of the water to press it to his cheek, her palm warm to the touch, her own dreamotion seeping out of her fingertips and into the air.]
I think she would have done it either way. And... [Tifa's eyes glisten with the beginnings of tears, held back with a hard blink.] We don't even know if she would have survived after all that.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
flamekthunder) wrote2025-04-07 09:12 pm
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[Her free hand reaches up to touch the back of his neck, her own expression crumpling with a weird mix of immense relief and frustration when she feels nothing there.]
When you were in that form, as a lindwurm, there was this black crystal on your back. It got bigger and spread more over you as time went on, and when we managed to break it, I could see the white scales underneath. [There's a pause, and her lips press together.] It was almost like it was... I don't know, feeding off your nostilium.
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Is that how it was?
[He couldn't have known, but... It makes him frown a bit.]
I suspect it might have been a nightmare crystal.
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... From where, though? And how did it get... there?
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[He sits back a little, trying to think.]
I don't even know how they are made... The only times I've seen them were either in that cave we found, or after that nocteare. And I have no idea how the noctaere had it inside it.
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[She echoes those words slowly, thoughtfully, the gears turning in her head until...]
Hey. Do you remember that dream that we shared a while back? Not the nightmare, but on Valentine's Day...
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[They've had so many, she may need to jog his memory.]
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[She shifts a little uncomfortably, having to recall it aloud. It's not as if it was their first time ever doing something like that, but it never makes it any easier to talk about it after. Especially when it had ended the way it did.]
The one where... you were dressed in that vampire costume...
[Her finger taps nervously on his arm.]
The one that ended in... a nightmare? And we had no idea why... or how...
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His eyes widen a little in recognition before narrowing as he eyes her carefully.]
I remember.
[When he behaved strangely, acting more like a real vampire before coming to his senses. It was if something in him changed...]
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Looking back on everything now, it really is a little sad knowing how much this world has affected him. Hurt him....]
You mentioned the caves, and it wasn't that long after, yeah? You don't remember anything strange happening, or feeling different when we got back?
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[Is how he answers at first, but as he rubs the back of his neck...
...]
Wait.
[He thinks hard. His memory is impeccable and while he may not remember every small detail, when he looks back at certain patterns...]
...I remember in that dream, I felt something cold on the back of my neck, as if I were bitten by something. But it was so slight I didn't think much of it. And now that I think about it, I remember something similar when we were leaving that cave, like something pricked the back of my neck.
Ever since, I would feel odd chills or something stinging whenever there was a lot of nostilium... Even the last nightmare, it was stronger.
So whatever it is, it had to have started from that cave.
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It was that long ago...
[Her eyes drop to the water, and to the scales on his arm as her fingers start to move over them again.]
I should have noticed something was wrong... and should have questioned you more back then after that dream, but I just didn't think much of it after we woke up.
[Nightmares happen, and she wondered if that had been it, but even then, she felt at odds with herself for days afterwards.]
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His hand goes over hers as he moves in a little closer to her.]
No, you shouldn't have.
[His voice is firm as he looks at her directly in her eyes.]
Not even the machines and systems in Orkili noticed it, and whatever signs I did have were so subtle and not unusual that it would be unreasonable for you to think otherwise.
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But his eyes and his firm voice capture her attention, willing her to look at him again, though her expression is still laced with worry and guilt... followed by understanding. It is true that nothing else had picked up on the crystal's existence there, and how was she supposed to know? That one dream had been a one-off, and by the time the nightmare happened, it had made a little more sense given what he'd been up to recently...
Even still, she wishes so much that she could have found something—anything that would have given them a sign, and they could prevent it from happening.]
I know.
[Her voice falls quiet, and with a rueful look, she leans in closer in turn, until her forehead bumps his.]
I just... I wish we could have stopped it. But it sounds like it was... almost inevitable.
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[He purses his lips.]
It's not as if we never felt that area, and there was no visible discomfort or presence. It may not have even been solid until that moment when I turned.
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But another thought does occur to her, and there's a flicker of sadness in her eyes.]
... I wonder if that's how Violet found her way into your dreams. If she could sense it or something.
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...I don't know, it's possible. If we assume that the crystal was absorbing nostilium, then...she could have been attracted to it. But she also could have just been attracted to me to begin with.
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I really do think that she saved you. Even if you still turned because of that crystal, I think it could've been a lot worse.
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I agree. Which is why when it happened... I was so confused. I knew I hadn't taken in enough to spin out of control, and yet...
[And then a more aggravated sigh.]
Pisses me off, really.
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[She hums from where her head has found his shoulder, but she doesn't look up at him. Instead, she just watches the water ripple with each movement they make beneath it, the motion oddly soothing.]
What does?
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[His eyes close with a heaviness filled with grief, guilt, and regret.]
Yet something like that...it was as if it was mocking her efforts.
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I know what you mean... I thought that, too. For a while.
[Eustace has always done this for her when she had doubts, and now...]
But we can't think of it that way. If Violet hadn't done what she'd done for you, who knows how many other people would have been hurt, or the destruction that could've been caused...
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...Maybe you're right. Maybe it's thanks to Violet I even had a chance in fighting back instead of being completely consumed from the start.
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I believe that it was a combination of you and her fighting against it that I didn't end up getting hurt in the end. And that it was her love for you that made all of that possible. No matter how much nostilium she took in, I don't think that much ever changed.
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...And yet it was still because of me...
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I think she would have done it either way. And... [Tifa's eyes glisten with the beginnings of tears, held back with a hard blink.] We don't even know if she would have survived after all that.
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❤️💙 fin.