[At first he flinches at her touch, not from any kind of pain but more out of not wanting to expose her to it. But then he quickly pushes that feeling aside and leans into her a bit more, a frown settling on his features.]
...Something like that. I was aware at times, but it was like fighting an inner battle...
[She feels him flinch, but not even that deters her. It only makes her touch that much more gentle as more of her fingers run over the grooves in between each scale, a reminder to him that she isn't afraid of him, or of the nostilium in them.]
An inner battle? Sort of like being stuck in a nightmare?
[That's the closest thing she can liken what she imagines it must have been like to.]
Something like that. It felt visceral...like as if it were my actual body similar to when we're dreamwalking. But instead of being trapped in a nightmare, it was just a black, empty space with restraints.
[He stares at his reflection in the water, recalling the bits and pieces he can.]
It was...heavy. Oppressive. I would lose my awareness unable to withstand it, but when I came to, whether it was due to someone attacking or just by chance, I would try to fight back. That's likely when you saw me return "control."
[So, no nightmare lindwurms coming to get him. That's... well, good, but it doesn't answer a lot of the questions that she still has.
And he'd been all alone in that black, empty space. If she knew if she could, she could have tried to find a way to get in there and reach him directly, but there was too much going on, and quite frankly, she was afraid of what she would have found.]
[He feels the smooth skin, still looking a bit perplexed before his hand falls away.]
Before, however... It felt as if something was growing or expanding there, and right before I completely changed I thought I felt something hard, like rock or crystal.
[Her free hand reaches up to touch the back of his neck, her own expression crumpling with a weird mix of immense relief and frustration when she feels nothing there.]
When you were in that form, as a lindwurm, there was this black crystal on your back. It got bigger and spread more over you as time went on, and when we managed to break it, I could see the white scales underneath. [There's a pause, and her lips press together.] It was almost like it was... I don't know, feeding off your nostilium.
[She had assumed as much, but hearing it confirmed only makes her heart sink to the bottom of the pool, and her fingers squeeze at his arm unintentionally.]
... From where, though? And how did it get... there?
I don't even know how they are made... The only times I've seen them were either in that cave we found, or after that nocteare. And I have no idea how the noctaere had it inside it.
[She shifts a little uncomfortably, having to recall it aloud. It's not as if it was their first time ever doing something like that, but it never makes it any easier to talk about it after. Especially when it had ended the way it did.]
The one where... you were dressed in that vampire costume...
[Her finger taps nervously on his arm.]
The one that ended in... a nightmare? And we had no idea why... or how...
[Is how he answers at first, but as he rubs the back of his neck...
...]
Wait.
[He thinks hard. His memory is impeccable and while he may not remember every small detail, when he looks back at certain patterns...]
...I remember in that dream, I felt something cold on the back of my neck, as if I were bitten by something. But it was so slight I didn't think much of it. And now that I think about it, I remember something similar when we were leaving that cave, like something pricked the back of my neck.
Ever since, I would feel odd chills or something stinging whenever there was a lot of nostilium... Even the last nightmare, it was stronger.
So whatever it is, it had to have started from that cave.
[She listens carefully once more, her every sense tuned into him, her eyes flitting across his expression to read him as worry and dread slowly fill her again. It's as she suspected, but having it confirmed only makes every thought and feeling she's felt since that day come rushing back.]
It was that long ago...
[Her eyes drop to the water, and to the scales on his arm as her fingers start to move over them again.]
I should have noticed something was wrong... and should have questioned you more back then after that dream, but I just didn't think much of it after we woke up.
[Nightmares happen, and she wondered if that had been it, but even then, she felt at odds with herself for days afterwards.]
His hand goes over hers as he moves in a little closer to her.]
No, you shouldn't have.
[His voice is firm as he looks at her directly in her eyes.]
Not even the machines and systems in Orkili noticed it, and whatever signs I did have were so subtle and not unusual that it would be unreasonable for you to think otherwise.
[Did he really expect otherwise? It's been on her mind since he turned, and then even more in the three days before he woke up while she was alone with her thoughts.
But his eyes and his firm voice capture her attention, willing her to look at him again, though her expression is still laced with worry and guilt... followed by understanding. It is true that nothing else had picked up on the crystal's existence there, and how was she supposed to know? That one dream had been a one-off, and by the time the nightmare happened, it had made a little more sense given what he'd been up to recently...
Even still, she wishes so much that she could have found something—anything that would have given them a sign, and they could prevent it from happening.]
I know.
[Her voice falls quiet, and with a rueful look, she leans in closer in turn, until her forehead bumps his.]
I just... I wish we could have stopped it. But it sounds like it was... almost inevitable.
At least how it came to be... Perhaps if we noticed maybe there could have been a way to extract it, but—
[He purses his lips.]
It's not as if we never felt that area, and there was no visible discomfort or presence. It may not have even been solid until that moment when I turned.
[She doesn't like the sound of any of that at all. The fact that anything could be buried into the back of his neck and evade any detection is disconcerting, to say the least, and she's trying not to feel even a little bit paranoid about it. It's not working.
But another thought does occur to her, and there's a flicker of sadness in her eyes.]
... I wonder if that's how Violet found her way into your dreams. If she could sense it or something.
...I don't know, it's possible. If we assume that the crystal was absorbing nostilium, then...she could have been attracted to it. But she also could have just been attracted to me to begin with.
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flamekthunder) wrote2025-04-07 09:12 pm
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...Something like that. I was aware at times, but it was like fighting an inner battle...
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An inner battle? Sort of like being stuck in a nightmare?
[That's the closest thing she can liken what she imagines it must have been like to.]
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Something like that. It felt visceral...like as if it were my actual body similar to when we're dreamwalking. But instead of being trapped in a nightmare, it was just a black, empty space with restraints.
[He stares at his reflection in the water, recalling the bits and pieces he can.]
It was...heavy. Oppressive. I would lose my awareness unable to withstand it, but when I came to, whether it was due to someone attacking or just by chance, I would try to fight back. That's likely when you saw me return "control."
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And he'd been all alone in that black, empty space. If she knew if she could, she could have tried to find a way to get in there and reach him directly, but there was too much going on, and quite frankly, she was afraid of what she would have found.]
Was it like the last time you turned?
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[A deeper frown.]
It wasn't born out of my own fears or nightmares... It felt... As if something else had taken over, or it had been injected into me.
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[There's a flash of concern in her expression, quickly followed by a realization that furrows her brows.]
You know, I thought I saw something... right as you were turning...
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Was it on my neck?
[As he speaks he reflexively reaches behind to the spot.]
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[Her eyes follow his hand, and she even leans back a little to see, but with his hair covering it, she can't quite tell if there's anything there.]
Does it hurt?
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[He feels the smooth skin, still looking a bit perplexed before his hand falls away.]
Before, however... It felt as if something was growing or expanding there, and right before I completely changed I thought I felt something hard, like rock or crystal.
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[Her free hand reaches up to touch the back of his neck, her own expression crumpling with a weird mix of immense relief and frustration when she feels nothing there.]
When you were in that form, as a lindwurm, there was this black crystal on your back. It got bigger and spread more over you as time went on, and when we managed to break it, I could see the white scales underneath. [There's a pause, and her lips press together.] It was almost like it was... I don't know, feeding off your nostilium.
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Is that how it was?
[He couldn't have known, but... It makes him frown a bit.]
I suspect it might have been a nightmare crystal.
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... From where, though? And how did it get... there?
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[He sits back a little, trying to think.]
I don't even know how they are made... The only times I've seen them were either in that cave we found, or after that nocteare. And I have no idea how the noctaere had it inside it.
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[She echoes those words slowly, thoughtfully, the gears turning in her head until...]
Hey. Do you remember that dream that we shared a while back? Not the nightmare, but on Valentine's Day...
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[They've had so many, she may need to jog his memory.]
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[She shifts a little uncomfortably, having to recall it aloud. It's not as if it was their first time ever doing something like that, but it never makes it any easier to talk about it after. Especially when it had ended the way it did.]
The one where... you were dressed in that vampire costume...
[Her finger taps nervously on his arm.]
The one that ended in... a nightmare? And we had no idea why... or how...
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His eyes widen a little in recognition before narrowing as he eyes her carefully.]
I remember.
[When he behaved strangely, acting more like a real vampire before coming to his senses. It was if something in him changed...]
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Looking back on everything now, it really is a little sad knowing how much this world has affected him. Hurt him....]
You mentioned the caves, and it wasn't that long after, yeah? You don't remember anything strange happening, or feeling different when we got back?
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[Is how he answers at first, but as he rubs the back of his neck...
...]
Wait.
[He thinks hard. His memory is impeccable and while he may not remember every small detail, when he looks back at certain patterns...]
...I remember in that dream, I felt something cold on the back of my neck, as if I were bitten by something. But it was so slight I didn't think much of it. And now that I think about it, I remember something similar when we were leaving that cave, like something pricked the back of my neck.
Ever since, I would feel odd chills or something stinging whenever there was a lot of nostilium... Even the last nightmare, it was stronger.
So whatever it is, it had to have started from that cave.
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It was that long ago...
[Her eyes drop to the water, and to the scales on his arm as her fingers start to move over them again.]
I should have noticed something was wrong... and should have questioned you more back then after that dream, but I just didn't think much of it after we woke up.
[Nightmares happen, and she wondered if that had been it, but even then, she felt at odds with herself for days afterwards.]
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His hand goes over hers as he moves in a little closer to her.]
No, you shouldn't have.
[His voice is firm as he looks at her directly in her eyes.]
Not even the machines and systems in Orkili noticed it, and whatever signs I did have were so subtle and not unusual that it would be unreasonable for you to think otherwise.
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But his eyes and his firm voice capture her attention, willing her to look at him again, though her expression is still laced with worry and guilt... followed by understanding. It is true that nothing else had picked up on the crystal's existence there, and how was she supposed to know? That one dream had been a one-off, and by the time the nightmare happened, it had made a little more sense given what he'd been up to recently...
Even still, she wishes so much that she could have found something—anything that would have given them a sign, and they could prevent it from happening.]
I know.
[Her voice falls quiet, and with a rueful look, she leans in closer in turn, until her forehead bumps his.]
I just... I wish we could have stopped it. But it sounds like it was... almost inevitable.
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[He purses his lips.]
It's not as if we never felt that area, and there was no visible discomfort or presence. It may not have even been solid until that moment when I turned.
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But another thought does occur to her, and there's a flicker of sadness in her eyes.]
... I wonder if that's how Violet found her way into your dreams. If she could sense it or something.
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...I don't know, it's possible. If we assume that the crystal was absorbing nostilium, then...she could have been attracted to it. But she also could have just been attracted to me to begin with.
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❤️💙 fin.